Drink Up, Win, Lose or Rainout

The Brewers’ fast start this season has put the spotlight on Milwaukee, a city known primarily for its beer and its . . . well, . . . its beer.

An anonymous scribe, writing for a souvenir program to note the opening of the Pfister Hotel in 1897 observed, “If one were called upon suddenly to say what claim to distinction Milwaukee possesses, he might be at a loss to give an answer.”

Apparently, not much has changed in 90 years.

Former Brewer Gorman Thomas liked Milwaukee: “They know when to cheer, and they know when to boo. And they know when to drink beer. They do it all the time.”

Former Brewer George Scott didn’t like it: “I didn’t like playing in Milwaukee. I didn’t go out there for a year. I hated to walk the streets or eat the food there. The people don’t look right, like they were from London, Jamaica, or another planet. I don’t like the town. The only place worse is Cleveland.”

Former umpire Ron Luciano wrote in “The Fall of the Roman Umpire”: “I’ve always loved Milwaukee fans. Wonderful people, knowledgeable baseball people, and they never yelled at me. People in the Midwest are the most polite people in the world.

“I was walking down an aisle in County Stadium when I came upon a fan in the middle of a heated discussion with a vendor. I had no idea what they were arguing about, but I saw the frustration on the face of the vendor. He obviously wanted to tell off this fan, but just couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t make himself say what he was thinking. This was in Milwaukee, not New York.

“Finally the vendor took a deep breath, scrunched up his face, shook his head and delivered the ultimate Midwestern insult, “Oh, I just wish you could read my mind.”

Robert W. Wells wrote in his book “This Is Milwaukee”: “Milwaukee is a place that grows on you gradually, like a beer belly.”

Burgers, Too, by George: The late George Webb, who founded a chain of hamburger restaurants in Milwaukee, predicted in 1953, just after the Boston Braves had moved to Milwaukee, that the team would win 12 straight games. When they did, he promised, it would mean free hamburgers for everyone.

The Braves never did win 12 straight before moving to Atlanta, and the Brewers never did it until Sunday night. But Dave Stamm, current president of the George Webb chain, intends to make good on the founder’s promise, offering free hamburgers at all 48 Webb restaurants in Wisconsin between noon and 8 p.m. today.

The company expects to give away between 112,000 and 150,000 burgers. And Stamm says, “This is the greatest thing to happen to Milwaukee, Wis., and this restaurant chain.”

Trivia Time: True or false? Since losing to Portland at the Boston Garden Dec. 6, 1985, the Celtics have lost just one game there and that was to the Lakers. (Answer below.)

Heart Like a Wheel to Wheel: Margie Smith-Haas, who will share driving duties with her husband, Paul, in Sunday’s Times Grand Prix of Endurance auto race at Riverside, commenting at a press luncheon Tuesday on those times when they have raced against each other: “I guess, when I’m out there and I see him, we try not to knock each other off the track. But then, if push comes to shove, I guess I would . . . “

Sour Grapes Back in Your Face: Although Jack Mahoney, a spokesman for Hancock, would not divulge the amount of guaranteed payments to runners, he did say Bright’s figure “is way off the mark.” Mahoney said, “Bob is a stand-up comic who never lets facts stand in the way of a good story.”

Al’s Not Alone: Bruce Keidan, columnist for the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, points out that comments by Montreal General Manager Murray Cook, published in USA Today the day after Al Campanis was fired for saying that blacks might not have “the necessities” to be field managers and front-office executives, were not that far removed from Campanis’ statements.

While explaining that blacks haven’t become real “students of the game” Cook said: “Things come so naturally to so many of those fine black athletes, they don’t learn all the rudiments of the game.”

Trivia answer: True. They have an official home record of 36-3 since that loss to Portland, but two of those defeats came at Hartford.

Quotebook

Promoter Will Kern, referring to the Times Grand Prix of Endurance this weekend: “It’s the fourth annual last race at Riverside International Raceway.”