First Lady Believes American Parenting Is in State of Decay

The recent violence in New York in which 32 youths randomly assaulted at least nine people demonstrates a fundamental flaw in changing American society, First Lady Barbara Bush suggested Thursday.

“People are going to have to reevaluate their lives and put their children first,” Mrs. Bush said at a White House luncheon with a group of reporters. Many parents simply don’t spend enough time with their children, she indicated. “Children do things in a group that they would never do (alone). You ought to know who your children are with.”

She said that she believes poverty, drugs and illiteracy are “interconnected” with some children’s lack of direction.

She also characterized the dual-career marriage as something “we haven’t learned to live with. Life is too fast, and it’s tough on family life. I have children who work, and it’s exhausting to work and take care of children. People put in eight-, nine-, ten-hour days and they’re tired when they get home. But they need to understand this (child-rearing) is a very short time in your life. I used to think I’d be a mother for a thousand years.”

The decaying state of American parenting was one of several subjects Mrs. Bush touched on during lunch and a tour of the White House private family living quarters, which were seldom seen by outsiders during the Reagan years. The President has his collection of toy soldiers spread across the fireplace mantle of his home office, along with a children’s toy chest off in a corner.

With the Bush Administration marking its 100th day Saturday, the 63-year-old First Lady seemed pleased with the performances of both her husband and herself. The President has “been wonderful. He acts and doesn’t react,” she said.

As for her own role, Mrs. Bush said, “I happen to see mine as a real opportunity to do things for other people.” She has made visits to homeless shelters and facilities for literacy programs and AIDS treatment among other places. She has avoided the controversy that plagued the early months of Nancy Reagan as First Lady. Mrs Reagan was criticized for ignoring social causes.

“I’m getting plenty of visibility, plenty!” Mrs. Bush said. “I just try my hardest. I never set goals. I just try to do my best and get my desk cleaned off.”

Although Mrs. Bush had seemed to reverse an earlier position that she once stated in favor of banning AK-47 semi-automatic assault rifles, she said she had not been “muzzled.”

“No,” she replied. “And I don’t think you know either me or George Bush if you think that. He never tells me what to say.”

She said that the President “of course . . . talks to me about things that are going on.” But she sidestepped an inquiry about whether she has discussed the issue of abortion with him. “What I talk about with George Bush is none of your business,” said Mrs. Bush, who is widely suspected of favoring the right to abortion--contrary to her husband’s position.

In a new twist on her literacy campaign, Mrs. Bush said that “one of the very happiest times is bathtub reading,” and revealed that both she and the President read while soaking.