COUNTYWIDE : Agency Gives Extra Aid to Foster Homes

Lizzie Jones has had some problems, as all parents do, with her children and the many foster children she has taken into her home. But none of them are problem children, she says.

A few years ago, one teen-age foster child stole her car and drove to Los Angeles. Another refused to go to school.

“Some people call these kids problem children,” said Jones, a 51-year-old Oxnard resident. “But I don’t even like the word ‘problem.’ Some kids just need more attention than other kids.”

Because Jones is willing to provide that extra attention, she was invited a few years ago to participate in Shomair, a Ventura County Mental Health Services program that provides special foster homes for youths with disruptive behavior.

Shomair, taken from a Hebrew word meaning “guardian,” was begun in 1985 to offer extra assistance and services to foster families.

The program recently expanded to offer seminars on parenting skills and an eight-session peer group for foster children between the ages of 8 and 11.

“In the peer group, we’ll be working on things like self-esteem issues and identifying with the foster parent,” said Sima Stanley, one of seven clinical social workers who run Shomair.

The class for parents focuses on how to deal with problem behavior and how to balance the needs of foster children with those of biological children, said social worker Ricki Ristuccia.

Besides the classes and support groups, a Shomair therapist visits the foster families in the home, a service that is especially helpful for Jones and her foster sons, ages 12 and 16.

“I don’t think I would survive without it. Sometimes I get stressed out and I need to have someone tell me I’m doing good regardless of the situation,” Jones said.

Although Jones gives Shomair therapists a lot of credit for her success, Stanley said the real therapists are the foster parents. “They’re the ones who are dealing with things on a daily basis,” Stanley said.

Jones said there’s no magic formula for being a successful foster parent. “I’m just being myself and treating them as my own,” she said.

“You have to have a lot of patience and a lot of understanding because these kids fault themselves for what’s happened in their lives,” Jones said.