Verbal Abuse of Children

Bob Baker’s article on cruelty and emotional abuse made me think about who defines what is abusive. If you ask children from extremely violent homes if they are in emotional pain:

A) Some will say yes.

B) Some will say no and secretly feel yes.

C) Many will honestly say no, believing they do not hurt inside.

Group C has disowned their fear and pain.

I feel a sadness for Groups A and B, both of whom are conscious of their pain and fear. While I also feel compassion for Group C, which has disowned its pain, I am very fearful and angry with the political consequences this group wreaks.

An electorate which has disowned its pain must project it onto someone who it can then hold in contempt. This sub-group of the electorate will also never be able to squarely confront “daddy” with his self-serving lies and cruelty. These people will actually reelect someone who has deceived and betrayed them.

A child cannot confront the “daddy” in some families, with the immorality of his behavior without risking life and limb. To adjust to this many children will begin to cease to feel the pain or to see the injustices. Ask the people of El Salvador, Nicaragua, Panama, Grenada, Iraq, Nagasaki, Compton and Watts how they feel about the United States. In their responses Americans will find their disowned selves.

MARC SADOFF

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Santa Monica