COMMITMENTS : ‘Game’ Remains the Same--Even in Cyberspace : Technology: By signing on to computer services, women can meet new friends. But just as in real life, sometimes the attention is unwanted.

If you are a woman, sometimes cyberspace can get ugly. Especially in those places that allow live interaction--the theme “rooms” in America Online and CompuServe, the “Relay Chat” on the Internet and others--women get a lot of attention, wanted or not.

Women learn that new “friends” appear quickly. Even a gender-neutral name brings on a nightly stream of abbreviated come-ons--”m or f?” Are you male or female?

Some of this behavior can be chalked up to the large number of 14-year-old boys out there with hormonal surges. But there also seem to be grown-ups living out an extended adolescence.

There have been recent reports of sexual harassment--and worse. In one publicized case, a Michigan man was arrested for allegedly “stalking” a woman who spurned him via E-mail. One message to her read: “This letter thing is the LEAST of the many things I could do to annoy you.” Said the 29-year-old recipient: “It was very, very spooky.”

Although verbal muggings, or “flames,” are relatively rare, they give newcomers pause. Getting mugged in the real world doesn’t happen that often, but knowing it happens at all makes us think twice before going out after midnight.

To be sure, lots of women have no trouble holding their own in cyberspace, cheerfully lambasting the bozos. Still others welcome the more intriguing advances and use their modems to indulge in a libidinous escape.

It’s also easy for men to find out how women are treated on-line: Just be one. Through a computer screen, nobody can see whether you have a Y chromosome. With the anonymity offered by most on-line services, users can build their own cyber-Tootsie personas.