Are You Guilty?

By JAMES BATES

Nov. 3, 1997 12 AM PT

TIMES STAFF WRITER

Reading your ethical barometer was a lot easier back in the decade of greed.

Ten years ago, the biggest crime you could commit was getting caught on tape passing along those insider stock tips. Or maybe it was failing to shred that critical document showing how you looted the local savings and loan.

These days, it’s a lot tougher in the era of mission statements, ethical guidelines and public interest groups that monitor your every move.

So here’s a test to determine your slime factor:

1. A salesman offers you two free tickets to a sporting event if you promise to “grease the wheels” at your company to help him make a sale. Your response:

A. “I don’t accept favors and can’t be influenced.” (+10)

B. “It’s against our company policy.” (+5)

C. “I usually get four tickets.” (+3)

D. “The Clippers? You must be joking.” (+1)

2. Which of the following best describes your attitude toward your competitors:

A. “I respect my competitors and find healthy, fair competition sharpens my business skills.” (+10)

B. “I will do whatever it takes to beat my competition this side of breaking the law.” (+3)

C. “Business is war. You have to do whatever it takes to win without getting caught.” (+1)

D. “I work for Microsoft.” (-95)

3. You’ve heard some lurid rumors about the personal life of a fellow employee. Your response is:

A. “I respect my co-worker’s privacy, and such talk has no place in the workplace.” (+10)

B. “That’s nothing compared with what I’ve heard.” (+3)

C. “Marv would do that? C’mon!” (+1)

4. During a job interview, a prospective employer asks if you mind if the interviewer contacts a former employer that you left under less-than-ideal circumstances. You respond:

A. “Feel free to call them. I have nothing to hide.” (+9)

B. “You’re wasting your time, because those idiots probably ran the place into the ground.” (+3))

C. “If you find them, let me know. I lost $1,500 in those tax shelters myself.” (+2)

D. “I’m not sure where Mr. Boesky is these days.” (+1)

5. You are caught on videotape telling an off-color joke. Asked about it later, you respond:

A. “I apologize for my insensitivity.” (+10)

B. “Can’t anyone take a joke these days?” (+3)

C. “I heard a better one last night.” (+2)

D. “I was assured by the White House those tapes would never be released.” (+1)

6. Which of the following best describes how your spend your day:

A. Striving to work ethically with others in your company. (+10)

B. Striving to work ethically with others in your company, but only the ones you like. (+5))

C. Striving to download X-rated material on the Internet using the company computer.(+1)

7. You discover a product your company makes is defective and could pose a threat to people. You:

A. Urge your company to come clean. (+10)

B. Go to a pay phone to call your friends so they can short your company’s stock. (+1)

C. Become a whistle-blower, testify for the plaintiffs’ attorneys in the class-action suit, get a six-figure advance to write an “inside” expose, then cooperate with a “20/20” investigation so you can plug your book. (+1)

8. An annual employee review asks you to list any mistakes or problems you had during the last year. Your response:

A. List your mistakes and problems, discuss why they occurred and how they might be prevented in the future. (+10)

B. List your mistakes and problems, blaming the jerks you work with. (+4)

C. List your mistakes and problems, blaming a lack of parental love. (+3)

D. List your mistakes and problems, except for those two road-rage arrests. (+1)

9. A visitor to your home would find:

A. Nothing of value taken from your workplace. (+10)

B. A few pencils and memo pads taken from work, but nothing else. (+8)

C. From $3,500 to $5,000 of your office’s furniture, depending on the appraisal. (+2)

D. Three file cabinets of confidential company documents that guarantee you’ll never be fired. (+1)

10. Your biggest ethical accomplishment in the last five years is:

A. Helping to write a mission statement stressing ethical behavior. (+10)