Making the Most of Meeting Teacher

Your child has had two months to make an impression on the teacher. Now it’s your turn.

The annual parent-teacher conference makes some parents cringe; it has something to do with feeling like a naughty child again, staying in after school and humbly folding your aging body into chairs meant for 7-year-olds. Others see the talks as just a formality.

But this is a chance for both you and the teacher to learn more about your child from each other. And done correctly, it’s a time when you can enlist the teacher’s special help and shape his or her view of your child’s particular needs and gifts.

You start by showing both teacher and child that you care. It might sound elementary, but make sure you show up, and on time, said Don Ewoldt, principal of Ethan Allen Elementary School in Fountain Valley. The conferences are tightly scheduled. Give yourself and the teacher as much time as possible.

And just as you tell your kids to do for school, show up prepared, said Carolyn Reichert, principal of Lampson Elementary School in Garden Grove. Make a list of your questions beforehand; as in the doctor’s office, your questions will tend to fade from memory once you face the figure of authority, unless you have your list to back you up. Ask about your child’s friendships with classmates and general happiness in class as well as purely academic progress. Inquire about school or classroom policies that don’t make sense to you.

The Los Alamitos Unified School District recommends asking your children if there are any questions they would like you to ask.

Bring a notebook and a pen that works. And take plenty of notes. You won’t remember everything otherwise.

If you have concerns, start by framing them as questions rather than as an immediate complaint. For example, if you’ve noticed that your child prints letters incorrectly, ask, “How do you think Taylor’s handwriting is coming along?” If the teacher has noticed the problem, you now can talk about how both of you can help solve it. If the teacher hasn’t noticed, you’ve opened the way to expressing your concern and heightening the teacher’s awareness. Then you can ask for special attention to the problem.

Ewoldt suggests that you tell the teacher about subjects or techniques that have motivated your child in the past, but don’t bring up your child’s past problems if they haven’t cropped up this year. Give your child a chance to start with a clean slate.

Finally, don’t worry if you forget something or need more interaction with the teacher. You can always write a note, leave a message at the office or ask for another conference.