LAUGH LINES
I See: Atty. Gen. Janet Reno appointed an independent investigator to look into the FBI’s conduct in Waco. “Now I know what criminals mean when they say they got burned by the Feds.” (Jay Leno)
Look, Up in the Air: On an Air New Zealand flight, a passenger felt something crawling up her leg and discovered it was a rat. “Apparently, whenever this happens on Air Force One, people hope it’s a rat.” (Conan O’Brien)
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The Essential David Letterman
Things that will get you kicked out of the Emmys:
* Demonstrating in a very physical way how much you love Raymond.
* Yelling, “Borrrrrinnnngggg!” during montage of actors who passed away this year.
* Pointing at Jimmy Smits and screaming, “A ghost! A ghost!”
* Saying “Hi, I’m Dave Letterman--may I host?”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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