So Will Their Fines Be Reduced by $6?
John Stevenson of San Marino read that a federal appeals court ruled that the state’s $6 fee for handicapped parking placards was unconstitutional. “Will all those UCLA football players ask for their money back?” he wondered.
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WORDS’ WORTH? I was thrilled to hear that the Oxford English Dictionary had issued an appeal for new words from the public in order to revise the 22,000-page, 20-volume work by 2010.
After all, I’ve collected quite a few gems from readers over the last few years (see accompanying), including:
* The gardening term “earation” (or is it a medical term?)
* “Credentiated,” a new type of teacher classification.
* “Detrashing,” a rehab procedure taken, I believe, after a residence has been occupied by a rock group
* “Remodelation,” a type of construction used when a place is too far gone for “detrashing”
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QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS: Joe Sinclair, a tour guide for two decades at Descanso Gardens in La Canada, forwarded some of the wackier lines he’s heard from callers and visitors, such as:
* I need some information on an event you’re having there. Do I need to tell you which one?
* Is the 2 Freeway a freeway?
* Are the bird walks at 8 a.m. or 8 p.m.?
* Can you take a picnic basket into the picnic area?
* My child is 7 years old but I can’t prove it. Will I have to pay adult admission for him?
No credentiation necessary!
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ITEM FOR A LULL IN CONVERSATION: The late X-rated comic Lenny Bruce, who has been the subject of some recent retrospectives, came from a show business family. At least on his mother’s side. She was a stripper. His father? He was a podiatrist in Altadena.
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TOO MUCH SUN: The item here about the proposed Hilton Hotel on the moon reminded retired TV and radio personality Bill Keene of a joke that Myron Cohen told years ago on Keene’s daytime variety show.
Two guys are watching a moon mission blast off near the Kennedy Space Center when one comments on how difficult it would be to develop the moon.
“Wait until they send a probe to the sun,” says the other guy. “Now, THAT could be developed! Plenty of hot water for spas, no problem heating the rooms, and just think of the tan you could get.”
The first guy says: “That’s silly. The sun is so hot it would melt the spaceship before you could unload.”
The second guy responds: “We go at night!”
miscelLAny:
What’s all the concern about the next millennium?
Shelly Brodsky of Sherman Oaks points out that the recent Rosh Hashana marked the start of the Jewish year 5760.
“There are still 240 years left to fix any Y6K problems,” he noted.
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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.