Be aware of the message in giving fitness equipment

Fitness equipment may seem like an ideal holiday gift, given with the best intentions. But when the recipient has expressed little interest in getting in shape -- or is sensitive about a weight problem -- such a gift could quickly put a halt to the festive mood.

Weight and body image are often extremely touchy subjects. While gifts such as vacuum cleaners and personal grooming kits can be annoying in their underlying messages, they don’t have the same emotional sting as a gift that says, “You need to shape up, tubby.”

“A gift like this comes with strings attached,” says Sarah K. Perry, a Los Angeles psychologist. “It’s like saying, ‘If I’m getting you this, you’d better use it, and I won’t like you if you don’t use it.’ You’re just carrying on the argument.”

Perry, the author of “Loving in Flow: The Optimal Experience for Couples” (Casablanca Press, 2003), suggests avoiding such gifts unless the subject of toning up or losing weight has already been broached with the person.

With obesity a growing problem in the United States, cues to lose weight are everywhere, from television commercials to magazine ads. But, says Philadelphia-based clinical psychologist Michael Broder, a blatant reminder in the form of a gift won’t necessarily jump-start motivation.

“When I needed to lose weight, nobody could have coerced me into doing it,” says Broder, author of “Can Your Relationship Be Saved?: How to Know Whether to Stay or Go” (Impact Publishers, 2002). “If you have someone who is not asking for help, and you’re forcing the issue, then they’re going to think, ‘OK, that’s my notice, if I don’t take some weight off, they’re going to run off with somebody else.’ I’ve seen people get divorced over weight.”

An alternative, says Perry, is to make getting fit a family project: “You could say something like, ‘Here’s something we can both use and share.’ Just as you can enable bad health habits, you can enable good ones too. But don’t control the situation.”

Broder suggests talking about the underlying causes of weight gain or lack of fitness: “Maybe the person feels he can’t lose weight, or they’ve tried to do it and failed. When it’s all out there on the table, that’s healthy.”

And some say the holiday period may not be the best time to consider a fitness-related gift. For many, the holidays are an emotional roller coaster. It’s also a time when people are encouraged to indulge and make New Year’s resolutions. Adding a gift that’s a catalyst for a weight-related argument could prove disastrous.

“The holidays have unfortunately become so much about expectations,” says Broder, “that even when you have the best intentions, sometimes a gesture is received any way but the way you meant it. Anything a couple can do to circumvent that is good.”

If the recipient has expressed some interest in getting fit but doesn’t seem fully committed, the giver is still taking a risk by buying equipment, says Perry: “You need to be prepared for that. Don’t spend more than you are able, and if they don’t use it, let it go. If it’s gathering dust, give it to someone else.” To spark interest Perry suggests focusing on the health benefits of getting in shape, not on looks or weight. Instead, “be extremely reinforcing at the slightest movement toward better habits.”

Buying equipment for someone truly interested in getting fit takes a bit of planning, says LaRessa Cox, marketing manager for Busy Body Home Fitness. She suggests considering the recipient’s fitness or weight loss goals, if there are any injuries or conditions, and if the equipment supplements a gym membership.

Don’t ignore practical issues such as how much noise the machine makes and how it looks: “If you’re putting it in your home,” says Cox, “you don’t want it to be an eyesore.”

It’s best to have the person you’re shopping for there to try out equipment, but it’s not always necessary, says Rick Gridley, operations manager for Big 5 Sporting Goods in El Segundo. “With the proper help, you should be able to pick something out,” he says. “But I wouldn’t recommend going into it naively; do your research. The Internet is a great place to start.”

Although most items can be returned, check a store’s policy before buying. Low-risk fitness gifts include balance boards and workout balls (huge inflatable balls that can be used for stretching and other exercises) and range from $15 to $30.

“It’s good for rank beginners and experienced athletes,” says Gridley. Not to worry if they’re never used for workouts: “They’re also comfortable to sit on. We had house guests over and they all sat on them.”