The weasel poll

Scott Adams, the creator of the “Dilbert” comic strip, invited visitors to his Dilbert.com Web site to vote on “the weaseliest individuals and organizations of 2002.” Adams says 116,000 votes were cast in six weasel categories:

Weaseliest organization -- Democratic Party ...29%

Major league baseball -- 21%

White House -- 19%

Congress -- 13%

Republican Party -- 11%

FBI -- 4%

Adams: “There was an organization of conservative Republican activists who told members on their Web site to get out the vote in the Weasel poll. It’s a tactic, apparently, that this group uses any time it hears about an unscientific poll being done somewhere, to make the entire world look like a conservative Republican.”

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Weaseliest country

France -- 34%

Saudi Arabia -- 23%

Pakistan -- 18%

Iraq -- 18%

North Korea -- 3%

Iran -- 1%

Adams: “I owe this one to name recognition. It’s the same reason you can win almost any election if your name is Kennedy. Also, I think a lot of voters were looking at the list and thinking, ‘Hmm, North Korea, is that the good one or the bad one?’ ”

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Weaseliest company

Microsoft (Bill Gates) -- 39%

Arthur Andersen -- 20%

Enron -- 18%

WorldCom -- 7%

Rite Aid -- 6%

Merrill Lynch -- 2%

Qwest -- 2%

Tyco -- 2%

Adams: Microsoft was “the most proficient at weasel-dom, in that they get away with it. Say what you will about Microsoft, no one there is being hauled off in shackles. You can’t say that for the rest.”

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Weaseliest profession

News reporters -- 24%

Lawyers -- 22%

Politicians -- 18%

Tobacco executives -- 17%

Accountants -- 5%

Oil executives -- 5%

Advertising executives -- 4%

Adams: “Whether you’re liberal or conservative, no one really believes reporters don’t have some kind of weasely bias. But look who you beat out! I mean, tobacco executives?!”

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Weaseliest individual

Martha Stewart -- 24%

Gary Condit -- 19%

Marie Reine Le Gougne (French ice skating

judge) -- 18%

Kenneth Lay (Enron) -- 17%

Michael Jackson -- 10%

Dennis Kozlowski (Tyco) -- 4%

Gary Winnick (Global Crossing) -- 2%

“Chainsaw Al” Dunlap -- 1%

Sam Waksal (ImClone) -- 1%

Adams: “The insider trading allegations alone probably wouldn’t have been enough to put her over as a weasel. But her craft projects are just so much harder than she makes them look.”

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Weaseliest religion

Islam -- 32%

Catholicism -- 27%

Atheism -- 22%

Protestantism -- 9%

Judaism -- .6%

Buddhism -- 1%

Hinduism -- 1%

Adams: “What can I say? Islam isn’t getting good press lately. But to me, the funniest thing was that Buddhism got over 200 votes! Who’s picking up the paper these days and thinking, ‘Damn those Buddhists! They’re ruining everything!’ That’s what I want to know.”

Source: Scott Adams, Dilbert.com (www.dilbert.com/poll)