IMing for the older set

BELATEDLY, I’VE LEARNED that LOL means Laughing Out Loud, and POS means Parent Over Shoulder (i.e., change the subject, fast). Young people invented this shorthand for e-mail and instant messaging, and you can hear their attitudes and concerns in it -- for example, DYHABF (Do You Have A Boyfriend?), W/E (Whatever) and UW (You Wish).

I haven’t been 20 for a long time now, and my thoughts don’t always lend themselves to electronic communication; but they’re common enough to deserve concise acronyms of their own. So feel free to use any of these abbreviations as needed:

Aging and memory loss

TMYNA: Tell Me Your Name Again

GU2P3XLN: Got Up To Pee 3 Times Last Night

WROMH: Where’s the Rest Of My Hair?

SMB/SWU: Stiff Morning Back/Struggling With Underwear

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Middle-aged Zen

MKDKWAPI: My Kids Don’t Know Who Al Pacino Is

TCLTM: Teenage Cashiers Look Through Me

SIH->NM: The School I Hated Has Become a Nostalgic Memory

JL40WD (WHUA): John Lennon Was 40 When He Died. (What Have You Accomplished?)

ROTFC9: Rolling On The Floor, Call 911

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Homeownership

SHBASH: Should Have Bought a Smaller House

SHSLY (^M): Should Have Sold Last Year (at Top of the Market)

NNRB: Need New Roof, Boiler

MIRPAA: Must I Really Paint Again, Already?

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Exercise

YGONTRTAFAM: Young Guy On Next Treadmill Running Twice As Fast As Me

HHDD: Hope He Drops Dead

PSY/NMI: Played Softball Yesterday, Need More Ibuprofen

NTFS/BO: NordicTrac For Sale (Best Offer)

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Old friends

EBYATT2: I’m E-mailing Because You’re Annoying To Talk To

AHSR-SOOP: At High School Reunion, Saw Only Old People

GOFAM: Googling Old Friends After Midnight

Signing Off, Sideways

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