Making his list, checking it twice

Just when Barack Obama thought his toughest decisions were behind him -- his Afghanistan strategy, tackling unemployment, what to say to Tiger Woods if he calls -- now he has to draw up a Christmas gift list. What will the current “decider” decide to give this holiday season . . . to both the naughty and the nice?

THE HEALTH INSURANCE

INDUSTRY: The new healthcare bill (the gift that keeps on giving).

BIG PHARMA: Same as above, with unlimited refills.

SENATE REPUBLICANS: Membership in the Whine-of-the-Month Club.

JOE LIEBERMAN: Hanukkah guilt.

BEN NELSON: Anything he wants.

MICHELLE: Some manure for her garden (how about the healthcare bill?).

MALIA and SASHA: New Secret Service escort: Justin Bieber.

BO: Meat-flavored cardboard cutout of Sean Hannity.

TARP BAILOUT RECIPIENTS: What, $700 billion wasn’t enough?

THE SALAHIS: Invitation to a state dinner . . . at Guantanamo Bay.

TROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN: A McChrystal ball.

TROOPS IN IRAQ: An all-expenses-paid trip from the frying pan into the fire.

FOX NEWS: An exclusive interview . . . in 2013.

KIM JONG IL: Fruitcake, extra nutty.

CHINA: As down payment on our debt, they get . . . Ohio (nonrefundable).

HILLARY CLINTON: Teflon pantsuit.

BILL CLINTON: Mistletoe pants.

SARAH PALIN: Eleven Pipers piping, 10 Bristols birthing, 9 Levis posing, 8 Todds a-mushing, 7 books a-signing, 6 moose a-dressing,

5 golden winks . . .

JOHN McCAIN: A 4-pound gift basket of sour grapes.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Christmas leftovers. Why not? He gave his to America.

Bruce Kluger and David Slavin are regular contributors to National Public Radio’s “All Things Considered.”