Mystery solved: The video showing Dennis Quaid losing it on a set was indeed staged -- by the folks at Funny or Die.
The full video, released Wednesday, includes an intro featuring lots of footage from entertainment programs that made hay with the "leaked" footage in their Tuesday broadcasts. It then puts Quaid's performance in context.
The portion of the video that went up on YouTube on Friday is a slice from the middle of the bit, with the visual punch lines that accompany nearly every profane expression edited out. In the full version, well, they're definitely in there, and they provide an explanation for the zombies reference, the baby reference, the exit line and more.
Importantly, the identity of "Dopey the ... " is revealed. Check it out at Funny or Die if you simply must know the (rude and crude) truth.
Meanwhile, the Oscar for best inappropriate on-set outburst still rests firmly in the hands of Christian Bale. The Quaid family's nutty-video crown remains on older brother Randy Quaid's noggin.
And Jimmy Kimmel, you're off the hook.