So the 36-year-old actor, who stars in the new flicks "12 Years a Slave" and "The Counselor," reveals in a cover-story interview for November's GQ magazine.
But don't put a lot of hope into that fix-it plan, ladies, because work is taking up all Fassbender's time these days. Sorry, even awards campaigning is going to lose out to a job he has in New Zealand.
"I'm kind of selfish with the hours that I put into the work," he says.
And it's not as if there wouldn't be a lot of competition — seems he's become a lot more fascinating in the five years since he's been a star.
"I make a lot more friends, you know what I mean?," Fassbender says of the side effects of fame. "You become a lot more successful in terms of, like, talking to a girl. She's all of a sudden more interested in me. I know that, like, three years ago, she would've walked away after two sentences left my mouth.
"I remember I was sitting at this table at this thing, and I was talking to this girl," he continues. "I was like, 'God, I am so boring right now.' But she was like, 'That's so interesting!' I was like, 'You know what? Five years ago, this would not have been interesting.' "
But it sounds as if Fassbender, who decided he'd be an actor at age 17, is cool with his life as it is right now.
"I know that I've got darkness," he says, "but for the most part I try and smile as much as I can, you know? I mean, David Cronenberg said it annoyed him that I used to come to work happy all the time."
Maybe he's not a fix-it project after all. What a shame.