This post has been corrected. Please see the note at the bottom.
It's all about karma.
Fifteen years ago, while living in Cheyenne, Wyo., I would frequently have lunch at a great place called the Egg and I.
Nice little spot, walking distance from the state’s Capitol building. Easy to get to.
But on the way back, I would walk by a taco joint. Another great place.
I love fast food. I love fast food too much. I just don’t like what it does to me.
In those younger days, sabotaging your best friends (in any way possible) was always great fun.
My friend Jonathan and I were both trying to get in shape. I was doing well. I had a trainer (which always seems to be a part of the story). And I was eating right. Usually, healthful salads for lunch, for example.
We were having a competition to see who could get to his goal weight the quickest. Campaign season had just ended, when fast food was our only food group. We were victorious, not only in the campaign, but also in adding on a lot of weight.
I had a two-pronged plan. Dump the weight fast. Derail my competitor and run him into the ground.
So, on the way back from lunch, I would purchase two super burritos (extra cheese) and some fried potatoes. And I would place them surreptitiously on his desk.
It worked like a charm. Jonathan horked those burritos down like a human vacuum cleaner. Bits of potato would spit out of his office as he would attack the side dish with the ferocity of a diesel-powered blender.
While I got back down to about 175, Jonathan was going in the other direction. 210. 220. 230. The dream? 300.
Of course, when you are just going for quick weight loss, you might reverse course, as I did. Quickly. I even surpassed Jonathan. Maxed out at 249. Something he took great delight in.
I've been a yoyo ever since. 249. 175. 220. 175. 200. 183. And my current weight: 203.
I have all the confidence in the world that I can get back to the mid 170s because I’ve done it so many times. Like a smoker is certain they can
– because they’ve quit so many times.
So, the yoyo is heading back down again. Monday, 1,600 calories total. Punctuated by some 94% fat-free popcorn at night’s end watching Auburn beat Oregon (that’s good for me as my current trainer attended Auburn, which means he’ll be in a good mood tonight).
What about Jonathan? He’s doing the same thing. Although he tells me he’s already lost 4 pounds this year.
Great for Jonathan!! I might have to Fed Ex him some congratulatory burritos…
For the record, 12:06 p.m. Jan. 12:
An earlier version of this post said Auburn beat Oregon State. In fact, Auburn defeated Oregon in their matchup in the Bowl Championship Series title game Jan. 10, and the text has been corrected to reflect that.