Readers React: Starting a conversation on elderly caregiving

To the editor: Plaudits to Amy Goldman Koss for so poignantly sharing how she’s easing her near-blind, demented mother through life’s final journey. Whether it’s with our elderly parents or our own late-life selves, more and more of us will face similar heart-rending challenges. (“From the bedside to the nurses’ station, dutiful daughters of the world, take care,” Op-Ed, Oct. 11)

Sooner or later, many of us will undergo what might be termed end-of-life roulette. The preferred outcome, of course, is to be blessed with long, fulfilling lives that end with a brief, painless decline. But healthcare advances have increased lifespans, making protracted, tortuous declines ever more common.

Unpleasant as it is to think about, few of us will escape discomfiting end-of-life situations. May we all strive for the rare grace Koss has displayed.

Greg Gilbert, Cool, Calif.

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To the editor: Like Koss, I was a caregiver to my mom. I moved her in with me after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. She spent five years with me before her illness claimed her the day before Thanksgiving last year.

I can’t count how many times people would tell me to take care of myself, without offering to watch Mom so I could actually take care of myself.

Everyone figures that when your responsibility ends, you will have time for everything. But not me. Wracked with grief and guilt over not having been able to afford professional care for her, I fell apart. It landed me in the hospital for a week.

My own health is a constant struggle, even a year later.

Audrey Fox, North Hollywood

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