A Kiss Doesn’t Change the Meaning of ‘No’

Because of Kobe Bryant, Elyce Wakerman wonders if it is rape “when you have willingly joined someone late at night [and] he hasn’t drugged you or strong-armed you” (Voices, May 15). If you let someone sit in your car, even have the keys prominently displayed, is it car theft if they drive away without permission? We have the right to control our possessions, including our bodies, at any time. We have the right to change our minds on the loan of any item, including our bodies. Yes, it is rape if we say no even after kissing and fondling has begun. To believe otherwise is to condone date rape. Is that what we want?

Loretta Kemsley

Sylmar

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Just as Wakerman couldn’t believe that Bryant was accused of rape, I couldn’t believe what she wrote in her attempt to exonerate her hero or justify his behavior. None of us knows what happened in his hotel room, but everyone should know what Wakerman apparently does not -- regardless of the woman’s sexual history, intention or reason for being in his room, if she said “no” or “stop” at any time and he forcibly continued, it surely sounds like rape. If there were a community service requirement for offensive columns, Wakerman would be sentenced to miss the remaining NBA playoffs and work at a rape crisis center.

Henry Freund

Santa Barbara