Text messages from press row...

More than 450 graduates are expected to pick up their sociology degrees in ceremonies Saturday at UCLA, but only one was inducted three years ago into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, owns three Super Bowl rings and is scheduled to be enshrined next month at the College Football Hall of Fame. . . .

Congratulations, Troy Aikman. . . .

Noting that schadenfreude is defined as “enjoyment taken from the troubles of others,” reader Dave Ferris of Tustin e-mails to suggest that schadenfloyd is defined as “enjoyment taken by UCLA fans from the troubles of the USC basketball program.” . . .

Here’s a suggestion if Mike Garrett is looking to make an outside-the-box hire: former UCLA coach Steve Lavin. . . .

Reggie Theus is available too. . . .

In the tradition of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Treniers and Warren Zevon, who recorded tributes to Magic Johnson, Willie Mays and Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini, hip-hop star Lil Wayne has cut an ode to his favorite teeth-baring Laker. . . .

In “Kobe Bryant,” the rapper declares, “OK, Kobe doin’ work/two four on my shirt/he da greatest on da court/I’m da greatest on da verse/going for da fourth ring like it was my first/gotta get da bling/do it for Kareem.” . . .

Kareem? . . .

It’s not Shakespeare, but at least it’s not salty like Shaquille O’Neal’s profane rap about Bryant last summer. . . .

Continuing the musical theme, the song sung by the cabdriver and his riders in the beer commercial being shown repeatedly throughout the NBA playoffs is “Just a Friend,” which was a smash for Biz Markie 20 years ago. . . .

While the Stanley Cup finals were extended to the full seven games for the fifth time in eight years, the NBA Finals have stretched to the limit only once in the last 15. . . .

Maybe the 2-3-2 format should go. . . .

Darren Helm of the Detroit Red Wings, who will play in his 41st Stanley Cup playoff game tonight in search of a second ring, has played in only 23 regular-season games. . . .

Did anyone really expect Manny Ramirez to have anything deep or insightful to say to reporters this week? . . .

In a Sports Illustrated poll of 352 major league players, a survey-topping 16% said eight-time Gold Glove winner Torii Hunter of the Angels was the best fielder in baseball. . . .

Maybe it’s only a coincidence, but Brett Favre’s family and friends reportedly have booked a block of rooms at a motel near Lambeau Field for the weekend of the Minnesota Vikings’ Nov. 1 game against the Green Bay Packers. . . .

Roger Federer, a man for all surfaces, won his 14th major championship in his 40th Grand Slam tournament. . . .

Pete Sampras, a clay pigeon, won his 14th in his 52nd. . . .

The U.S. Golf Assn. expects to sell 110,000 hats during next week’s U.S. Open, some to yahoos who will then turn around and shout “you da man” every time Tiger Woods tees off. . . .

Zac Sunderland of Thousand Oaks and Johnny Strange of Malibu shatter the stereotype of 17-year-olds sitting around the house playing video games and growing obese. . . .

Sunderland, off southern Mexico, is about 2,000 miles from completing a year-long quest to become the youngest person to complete a solo sail around the world, and Strange this week became the youngest to have climbed the highest peak on seven continents, known collectively as the Seven Summits. . . .

Whatever they do next will seem tame by comparison. . . .

When Mike Tyson was married Saturday in Las Vegas, it would have been fun to hear the minister say, “If anyone objects to this union . . .,” and see if anyone dared speak up. . . .

Or forever held their peace. . . .

Noting that disgraced former NBA referee Tim Donaghy reportedly was attacked in prison by a fellow inmate, colleague David Shear wonders, “Is this a flagrant 1 or 2?” . . .

Winner of the Allan Malamud Scholarship presented by the Southern California Jewish Sports Hall of Fame is Isaac Rosenthal of Venice High, who plans to enroll at Oregon this fall. . . .

The scholarship honors the former Herald Examiner and Times sports columnist who died in September 1996, weeks before Bryant made his Lakers debut and months before Woods won his first major championship at the Masters in April 1997. . . .

Mud, of course, would have enjoyed covering them both.

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jerome.crowe@latimes.com