MARK HEISLER ON THE NBA: Sure, Lakers are all the rage now, but not so long ago it was all about Kobe’s rage

Not that the last three seasons felt like a lifetime as the Lakers went from Kobe Bryant’s days of rage in 2007 to back-to-back titles in 2009 and 2010, but I have stuff to catch up on.

How did that Hillary Clinton-Rudy Giuliani presidential campaign come out?

The last time I checked, everyone said Hil had the Democratic nomination locked up.

Could you spell that?

B-A-R-A-C-K O-B-A-M-A?

I assume John Edwards ran as his VP?

Who ran with Rudy?

Sarah who?

Happily for those of us called away by the demands of chronicling Lakers history — hey, it’s a living — the country survived.

The Lakers survived too, which may sound funny, coming off three Finals appearances, but it’s as true as true can be.

This story really started in the spring of 2007 when Bryant realized he was, uh, in trouble.

Shaquille O’Neal was three years gone, in which time he had won a fourth title and had had a lot to say about Bryant.

Kobe was playing with Lamar Odom, the 6-10 enigma in his third season of proving he wasn’t a No. 2 option; Kwame Brown, at least when he didn’t have a headache and wasn’t in one of his not-tonight moods; Smush Parker, the point guard they got off the waiver wire and were getting set to drop off in the same place, with Vladimir Radmanovic or Luke Walton at small forward.

Kind of amazing they didn’t win, huh?

Actually, there was little prospect of even getting past the first round — assuming they got in it.

Unfortunately, it was a surprise to Jerry Buss, who had paid Rudy Tomjanovich $6 million — as much as he gave Phil Jackson — to take over in 2004, as if they were supposed to go somewhere.

Instead, they went 34-48 that season, although Rudy did them the favor of going over the hill at midseason, saving them $24 million, and enabling them to rehire Jackson, who was still close to the family, or, at least, one member of it.

Also surprised, or in denial, was Bryant, who knew better, having already declared he knew they couldn’t be what they had been with Shaq.

Unfortunately, with Shaq and Phil fingering him for everything that went wrong, Kobe set out to will the Lakers to success, like Atlas putting the globe on his shoulders.

By the spring of 2007, Bryant knew he wasn’t Atlas. He was more like the Man in the Iron Mask.

What followed was his volcanic, ownership-excoriating demand to be traded, his curt attitude with Buss, who traveled to Barcelona for a face-to-face meeting, and, finally, Buss’ announcement they would try to accommodate him.

With Bryant eyeing Chicago and vice versa, the Bulls offered Kirk Hinrich, Ben Gordon and Ben Wallace.

The Lakers said they had to get an All-Star back.

The Bulls didn’t have one but offered Gordon to Sacramento, which had an All-Star Jackson liked — Ron Artest.

The Kings were thinking about moving Artest — and would a year later, giving him to Houston for Bobby Jackson, rookie Donte Greene and a future No. 1 pick — but weren’t ready then.

Otherwise, Ronnie might have become a Laker in 2007, although it’s not likely he would have reached the Finals with them for his memorable Game 7 and even more memorable news conference.

So, no, you can’t find anyone this side of Pinocchio who saw this coming.

To make a long story short, Andrew Bynum happened in the fall of 2007 but was hurt in January, prompting the Lakers, who had dropped out of the Pau Gasol derby the year before, to drop back in and hit the jackpot, when the Memphis Grizzlies donated Pau for Brown, Marc Gasol and Javaris Crittenton.

With Bryant having gone from cold rage in the fall to this-could-be-the-start-of-something by January to forget-it-I’m-good when they got Gasol, the Lakers won the Western Conference, were 12-3 in the West playoffs and arrived triumphantly in Boston for the teams’ first Finals meeting since 1987.

The Celtics, of course, were 8-0 before the Lakers reversed the curse in 1985 and beat them again in 1987, removing much of the sting.

The 2008 Celtics proceeded to put the sting back in, pounding the favored Lakers, who were too cavalier, too puny, or both, capping it with a 131-92 humiliation in Game 6.

As if the Lakers needed more bad memories.

A year later, the Lakers got on the board, beating Orlando in five games after surviving an embarrassing wake-up call against Houston and clawing past Denver in a six-game Western finals.

This season, Jackson, whose 10 titles included six repeats, set out to preserve his players so they’d be healthy and fresh in April.

Instead, they dropped into the playoffs on a long, cold roll.

Worse, Bryant and Bynum were out because of sore knees — which would both get worse.

Bynum wound up with a partial cartilage tear and turned down the surgical option to try to finish the season.

Bryant bottomed out in Game 4 in the first-round series against Oklahoma City, scoring 12 points, taking only 10 shots in a 110-89 Thunder rout that tied the series, 2-2, amid accusations that he had been “pouting.”

After that, Bryant turned back into Kobe Bryant, if slowly.

Their postseason turned on Game 5, in which he took nine shots and scored 13 points but attacked enough to draw the defense before passing off, seven assists’ worth.

For good measure, the 31-year-old Bryant, playing on a bad knee, guarded 21-year-old uber-athlete Russell Westbrook, who’d been torching them, but shot four for 13 in this one.

Everything went swimmingly for the Lakers after that, until the Celtics came back from a 2-1 deficit to go up, 3-2, one win from challenging their 1969 Game 7 victory under Lakers owner Jack Kent Cooke’s balloons as the Greatest Sting of Them All.

That wasn’t how it turned out, though.

It was a new day, after all, as the Lakers discovered the last three seasons.

mark.heisler@latimes.com