Families seeking togetherness find it at grand historic resorts

THE first time the Dievler kids walked into the grand dining room at the historic Mohonk Mountain House in New York’s Catskill Mountains, they were the only children there.

That was more than 40 years ago, and “the focus definitely wasn’t on children in those days,” said David Dievler, who lives in New Jersey.

Now, when the Dievlers return to the sprawling 150-year-old resort with their five grown children and grandchildren, the dining room is full of noisy kids. The focus now isn’t just on the adults; it’s on helping families make the most of their time together.

“Families want to barricade themselves from the world ... and be able to connect,” said Lalia Rach, director of New York University’s Tisch Center for Hospitality, Tourism and Sports Management.

More than a third of adults expect to take at least one vacation with children this year, according to the recently released 2003 National Leisure Travel Monitor. That’s an increase of 10% since 2000 -- before Sept. 11 and the war with Iraq.

Seven out of 10 working parents say they want to spend more time with their children. “They don’t want to just dump their kids in camp at a resort anymore,” said Chekitan Dev, a professor at Cornell University who monitors trends.

That’s why old-fashioned resorts with acres of grounds (the Mohonk boasts 85 miles of hiking trails) are appealing.

“Coming to Mohonk reminds me of what was best in my childhood -- the quiet time with my family where we were all together -- and I want that for my kids,” said Elise Dievler Donovan, a New Jersey English professor who returns to Mohonk with her two children at least once a year.

Jack Soden of Memphis, Tenn., spent entire summers at the Hotel Del Coronado, near San Diego, when he was a boy, and he recently spent a week there with his two teens. “It’s a wonderful thing to introduce something with so much tradition into their lives,” he said.

But that doesn’t mean leaving modern life behind, and it doesn’t mean today’s parents must entertain their kids without help. For example:

* The beachfront Hotel Del Coronado, www.hoteldel.com, offers surfing and sailing lessons, and kids can participate in crafts such as making kites and sand candles.

* Mohonk, www.mohonk.com, now offers “tykes’ tea parties,” story hours, kids-only hikes and fossil hunts, junior golf and tennis clinics and a new Teen Scene, complete with mountain biking and rock climbing.

* The Homestead in Virginia, www.thehomestead.com, which has been welcoming guests for two centuries, touts its KidsSpa, which includes children’s massages and a pedicure with a chocolate milk soak.

* The Breakers Palm Beach, www.thebreakers.com, which has two golf courses, just opened a 6,100-square-foot family entertainment center as part of a $145-million expansion and renovation project. There’s an arcade, toddlers’ playroom and kids’ movie and computer room.

The hefty tab at many of these resorts doesn’t seem to deter these families, who feel they are buying a unique experience. “Sure, we could go to a cheaper place, but it just wouldn’t be the same,” said Soden.

Yet Connecticut mom Ellen Gross, who has visited more than one of these places, said, “We thought they were stuffy and overpriced. The history isn’t enough.”

Some longtime customers, such as Audrey Luther, who has vacationed at the Breakers for nearly 50 years, aren’t happy about the kid-friendly changes. “The children,” she said, “are out of control.”

But times change. Decades ago, wealthy families went to these resorts for weeks or even months at a stretch with their staff in tow. Working-class families were lucky if they could steal an afternoon at the beach. They didn’t even own bathing suits and would rent them for the occasion, said Christine Donovan, the staff historian for the Hotel Del Coronado. “The wealthier you were, the less time you spent with your kids,” Donovan said. “Vacation wasn’t about the kids having fun.”

At one point, the Greenbrier in West Virginia and the Hotel Del had schools on the property. Separate dining rooms for children (and staff) were de rigueur.

That’s not to say the kids had a bad time. Soden recalled that they had far more freedom than children do today. He remembers his dad’s stories about his childhood vacations at the Hotel Del. He also recalls his own adventures -- spending hours exploring the hotel grounds, enjoying lazy days on the beach and sailing on the bay, being permitted by the elevator operators to run the cars up and down.

“No one was worried about where we were,” Soden said. “The idea was that the entire staff would keep an eye on us, and they did. It was the best.”

The world may not be the same, Soden added, “but walk into the Hotel Del, and there’s still some of that same feeling. It’s fantasy land.”

Taking the Kids appears twice a month. E-mail Eileen Ogintz at Eileen@takingthekids.com.