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Opinion: Uwe, boma ye!

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I deplore the devaluation of language that comes when writers carelessly apply words like ‘genius,’ ‘masterpiece,’ or ‘classic,’ but I must say it: Chris Baker’s Wired story on the boxing match between Uwe Boll and his web critics is laff-tastic.

That’s a literal boxing match, by the way, in which Boll—the auteur behind Alone In the Dark, Bloodrayne, and House of the Dead, and a man generally acknowledged as the worst filmmaker of our time—takes on four of his critics in the sweet science, and proves that you can’t give a thumbs-down review when you’ve got the gloves on. A sample:

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The crowd roars as [Something Awful webmaster Richard ‘Lowtax’] Kyanka, a gawky 30-year-old from Lee’s Summit, Missouri, traipses around the ring in baggy stars-and-stripes shorts, knee-high tube socks, and a skintight shirt that showcases his muscle-free physique. Consistent with the tasteless humor of his site, Kyanka quickly draws boos by waving tiny American flags and accusing the Canadian crowd of ‘harboring a known terrorist—Uwe Boll!’

The best part: Boll is fighting for real, and hands all four critics their asses with little trouble. Whole article.

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