Politics 88 : To End, He Kept His Wit About Him

Kansas Sen. Bob Dole’s departure from the presidential race also means farewell to some of the zippiest one-liners. Even as his campaign unravelled, Dole kept the race lively by firing a steady stream of zingers at both himself and rivals. A droll Dole sampler:

Caucus night advice to Iowans: “If for some reason you’re not going to vote for me, then don’t go out. You might catch cold. Take your Sudafed, go to bed. Read about it in the morning.”

On learning that a wealthy Senate colleague had endorsed Bush: “He got chauffeured to kindergarten, too.”

Shouted to traders on the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange: “Sell Bush Short!”

Cuddling a puppy in a Bedford, N.H., pet store: “We’ve got one just like it at home. We keep it under a Bush.”

On the news that he had lost the New Hampshire primary: “I was working on my inaugural address when I got the message.”

On the popularity of his wife, former Transportation Secretary Elizabeth Hanford Dole: “Some people say there ought to be a Dole-Dole ticket, but I don’t want to be vice president.”

To a reporter sitting in the seat next to the emergency exit on Dole’s campaign plane, when the campaign was going badly: “I reserved that for myself.”