Learning to Dodge the Parking Lot Dodge

I enjoyed your column (Joseph Bell, Aug. 24) this morning. The parking lot dodge has irritated me for decades. We had a 1965 black-and-silver Porsche years back that we didn’t let anyone else drive, not even tux-wearing parking-lot parasites.

At a Century City affair about 25 years back, we pulled up to let my wife out at a hotel door. The parking lot honcho wanted to take over. “No way,” I said.

“Well, you’ll have to take care of me,” the parking parasite insisted. I gave him a five and parked the bomb myself.

The last few years, a certain Dana Point restaurant has swarmed with beady-eyed parking lot pests. We foil the greedy, grasping goofs by arriving early. If we ever arrive when the lot is filling up, I’ll get my binoculars out of the trunk and pretend to be enjoying the view. While the leeches are victimizing some other innocents, we’ll slip into the restaurant.

JOE McGUIGAN

Laguna Niguel