We were home in bed with the...

We were home in bed with the flu, and having a miserable time of it too, when the Formidable Companion appeared like a vision beside our pillow.

“Is this Christmas list of yours correct?” she asked.

We shrugged.

“Were you running a temperature when you wrote this stuff down?” she asked.

We nodded.

“How high was it?” she asked.

“One hundred and three,” we said.

“So you really don’t want a drill press, a skip loader, a chain saw, some beef jerky, chewing tobacco and a bottle of cologne called ‘Hair of the Hun,’ ” she said.

“Guess not,” we said.

“Poor baby,” she said. “You really were hallucinating with that fever. Last night you picked up the cradle from the creche and said: ‘Baby Jesus, are you coppin’ some Z’s again?’ ”

She asked about the gingerbread men cookies in the kitchen, with all their heads and limbs bitten off. We were responsible for that too, weren’t we?

“Yes. Must have been that oppressive fever again,” we said.

“Is there anything else you want to say?” she asked.

We did. It’s this: Edgemar Courtyard in Santa Monica will be the setting for an afternoon of entertainment today from 1 to 5 p.m. Included in the festivities will be storyteller Karen Golden; two choirs from Trinity Baptist Church in Santa Monica; another choir, Mother Nature’s Army, will perform folk-inspired music; and the Santa Monica Children’s Theater will be on hand doing a 20-minute skit. For information call (213) 396-7234.

One more thing. Merry Christmas (cough).