COMMENTARY ON YOUTH : When Children Look to Us, Offer Them Faith in Themselves : When we are possessed to put into our bodies foods, drugs or alcohol that will destroy its health . . . just say no!

“Just say no!”

This is becoming a more accepted philosophy of life in recent times. As time goes on, we are discovering that the abuse of our planet, our bodies, our minds and our spirits reaps a bitter harvest. After decades of a headlong rush toward instant gratification without much thought to consequences, perhaps we are beginning to realize that we cannot give in to every desire.

As an educator faced with the challenging task of helping teen-agers develop values, it is time to confront the compulsive hedonism that plagues adolescents. The ‘80s seemed to be a decade characterized by selfishness. The ‘90s may be a time to re-evaluate and to change directions.

In our passion to have all that we want when we want it, our civilization has endangered the fragile ecosystems of our earthly home. The desire for junk foods, drugs and alcohol have taken a great toll on the physical and mental health of our enlightened society.

At a time when we possess more of the material resources for happiness, there is increasing crime, violence, divorce, and serious emotional problems.

We have begun to take arms against this sea of troubles.

When we are possessed by the desire to put into our bodies foods, drugs or alcohol that will destroy its health . . .

just say no!

When young people are called to gangs and violence in order to get their needs met or solve their problems, we counsel them to . . .

just say no!

But when we are faced with the increasing rise in sex among teen-agers and the attendant problems, we tell them to . . .

just use condoms!

“Safe sex” among adolescents should be a contradiction in terms. Sexual promiscuity not only takes its toll in terms of dreaded diseases but in the emotional and spiritual health of the children. Hopefully, we will soon find a cure for AIDS. This will not make promiscuity a safe enterprise.

If we are helping to prepare our youth for adult lives where they can enter into marriages that are lasting and faithful, we need to encourage them to live these values now. There is no ritual in a wedding ceremony that instantly creates virtue in the husband and wife.

The ability to say no to some things so that they can say yes to each other comes from a life which builds the strengths and skills for a commitment “for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, until death.”

In order to accomplish anything of value, we need to learn to delay gratification. Good grades and excellence in sports, music, drama and any other endeavor means “saying no” to certain desires and wants in order to have the time, energy and attention to accomplish the goal. It is called sacrifice.

In our sex education courses, the word sacrifice should be included in our vocabulary. If it is appropriate in the lexicon of ecology, diets and substance abuse, it most certainly has a place in the equally important realm of human relationships.

Patrick J. Buchanan, a syndicated columnist and co-host of CNN’s “Crossfire,” recently wrote: “. . . If this society is ever going to turn away from the suicidal course on which it embarked, it is going to need more than Magic’s admonitions to ‘practice safe sex.’ ”

“Who among you, if a man asked for bread, would give him a stone?” asks the New Testament. Yet, as the bright-eyed children of tomorrow look to us with hope, for the Way, the Truth, and the Light, we tell them to hold out their hands--and give them a condom.”

Our young people deserve better than this. Our children need more than this. Cannot we give them a faith in themselves, in one another and in God, which encourages them to make sacrifices for a greater love?

Let’s hope and pray--and teach so.