Are You Table Able? : Regarding Fish Forks and Napkin Rings, Sherry Johnson Sets the Record Straight

It happens suddenly, as it did recently at a country club luncheon.The soup is served and everyone reaches for a spoon. But which spoon? A teaspoon is on the far right of the plate, but that’s too small. What looks like a soup spoon is above the plate next to a dessert fork. Surreptitiously everyone looks at everyone else. Who will be the first to reach and for which spoon?

Does this sound overly dramatic? In one way it is, and in another way it isn’t. Our social skills give us that extra bit of assurance that makes situations more comfortable.

In the above luncheon scenario, the fault was obviously with the table setters, who had improperly set the banquet tables. For Sherry Johnson who owns a company called the St. Andrew’s Dining Society this was just one more instance of an avoidable faux pas. “Knowing how to set a proper table and which fork to use makes everyone more comfortable.”

When Johnson moved here from New York City seven years ago, she saw she could combine her knowledge of interior design with her love of cooking and entertaining by helping people with their home and business entertaining.

“Ten years ago my husband and I decorated an apartment in New York City in the theater district, calling it My Place in New York. No one ever lived there; it was just rented out to companies to give intimate dinners for clients as if they were in someone’s home. We did the decor and the catering.

“In the last 10 years, while people were entertaining in restaurants, they were also losing a sense of etiquette and intimacy by not entertaining at home,” Johnson explained. She also feels that by most families eating dinner in front of the television, instead of at a formally set dinner table, the children grew up without a sense of what was proper etiquette and what was not.

“I found that people were really interested in the right way to do things, so when I was sidelined with lupus for six months, I wrote a short 11-page book on etiquette. Included in the book, titled ‘Setting the Table: A Short Course in Confident Entertaining,’ are menu cards with the proper table setting pictured on them and recipes.

“One of the good things that came out of this terrible economy recently is that people are starting to entertain at home more and finding that they really enjoy it,” Johnson said.

A properly set table that is beautiful adds to the enjoyment of the meal and seems to make conversation go even smoother. If you know which fork to use, it saves the embarrassment of waiting to see what everyone else does.

According to Johnson, too elaborate table settings really are wrong because there should never be more than three of one thing, such as fork or spoon, per setting. If more are needed, they should be added later.

An oyster fork is the only fork that ever goes on the right of the plate, and a teaspoon is not part of the table setting, but should be placed on the saucer when coffee or tea is served.

“Napkin rings are really not proper at formal dinners,” said Johnson, who also gives etiquette classes. “They were originally for families to use so that each family member knew which was his napkin to help conserve laundry.”

Once the basic etiquette points are known, Johnson says setting a table can be fun. She suggests using personal collections on the table, such as crystal and ceramic animals. The table setting can be as personal a statement as the entire home’s design.

Here are some simple entertaining tips:

* Wait for late guests only 10 minutes after the time you planned to serve dinner;

* The first person served at a dinner is the lady of honor;

* If you must leave the table during the meal, place your napkin, unfolded, on the seat of your chair;

* On a week night, where there is not a guest of honor, guests should remain from 30 to 45 minutes after dinner.

“The loss of communication is the price you pay for not entertaining at home. Just because you’re not totally sure of the proper etiquette is no reason not to entertain. The rules are easily learned.”

Johnson’s self-published book ($14.95) is available at Appointment of Newport, RSVP in Tustin and other shops or by calling (714) 951-1659.

A Seafood Setting

“No matter how often you entertain, it’s nice to have a guide at hand that reassures you,” said Sherry Johnson of the St. Andrew’s Dining Society in Newport Beach. Here’s a diagram of a proper table setting for a seafood dinner, incorporating specialty plates and utensils, such as the oyster fork and fish fork:

Service plate: Oyster plate and soup plate should be placed on the service plate; the service plate should be removed and replaced by the fish plate.