Nebuchadnezzar, Party of Four

At 7:30 Babylon has the forlorn look of an empty restaurant. Since we are the only customers, we ask to be seated in a booth. “Oh no,” says the supercilious maitre d’, “those are reserved for the investors.”

The waiter pops up once a minute to see if we are ready to order. When we choose paella he says disapprovingly, “That takes 20 minutes, do you really want it?” At 7:45 we are still the only customers, but the hostess has told four hopeful parties who have wandered through the door that the restaurant is fully booked.

Welcome to Babylon, L.A.’s latest restaurant with rude service and an unlisted number. By 9 o’clock it will be packed with gorgeous women with big hair and bare midriffs, and scruffy men with big hair and skinny jeans. By 9:30 there will be a serious traffic jam just outside, and a line waiting for tables.

The food--do you care?--is vaguely Mediterranean. You can get a tapas plate (ahi tuna tartare, stuffed grape leaves, fried calamari, salad) or a plate of pasta. You can get lamb chops or chicken on couscous. You can get Chilean sea bass with buttery bread crumbs on undercooked beans. It’s all been conceived by David Wilhelm, the Orange County wonder, and cooked by three very hard-working people in the open kitchen. It’s good stuff--but not good enough to get anybody in this crowd to sit up and pay attention. There’s just too much competition.

* Babylon, (310) 289-9743, 616 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood. Entrees, $12-$17.