OC HIGH / Student News and Views : Fatherhood Has Fears and Responsibilities : Parenting: In many ways, the hardest part was before the baby came.

Here, as told to student reporter Wendy Harmston, is the story of how one teen dad is coping with parenthood. He asked that his name not be used.

The events leading up to my girlfriend’s pregnancy were simple. We found ourselves alone together and were very anxious. When you’re young and willing, your hormones take over all rational thinking. One thing led to another, and, before we knew it, we were both saying, “Oops!”

The pregnancy wasn’t a surprise. We pretty much saw it coming. It’s just that when we confirmed the pregnancy, we really got scared. My girlfriend and I were scared to death of rejection from the church and the hate and disappointment from our families.

My girlfriend considered an abortion, running away and suicide. She wore baggy clothes, avoided her family, used food as an excuse for her weight increase and even participated in heavy exercising and strenuous activities in hope of a miscarriage. I was frightened for both of us, and whatever she decided was fine with me because I just wanted to make her happy.

From the minute we knew she was pregnant, I stood by her, and I continue to do so today. Never did I once think about leaving her or my baby. I believe that since we loved each other enough to make a child, there is no reason why we couldn’t bring it into the world and raise it together.

Our friends and family did not find out about the pregnancy until my girlfriend was seven months’ pregnant. During the seventh month, we confided in a friend. This friend told her mother, who decided to call my girlfriend’s family and tell them.

When they did find out, our fears disappeared. Her family accepted it rather than turning their backs on us. They took care of us and made us feel the positive things instead of the negative.

For the last part of the pregnancy, we were able to relax and enjoy it the way couples are supposed to.

Being a father is lots of work, but it’s fun, too. Being able to care for someone who is half you and half of the person you love is an experience I can’t really describe. The feeling I get when my little boy smiles or coos at me replaces all the bad feelings I have harbored up for the day.

I work at two jobs so that I can support my family when we get married, so I don’t get much free time for anything else. When I do have time, I’m over at my girlfriend’s house with her and my boy.

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My girlfriend and I are engaged and plan to get married within the next year. We want to be able to support ourselves fully before we have another child.

Fear is one emotion that can eat away all rational thinking. My girlfriend and I lived in a constant state of fear for seven months. Every day we woke up hoping the pregnancy was a dream, but it always turned out to be real. Now that our baby is here, we are happy.

Wendy Harmston is a student at Fullerton High School, where this article first appeared in the student newspaper, the Pleiades.