But What if the President Doesn’t Watch Ice Hockey?

After the Detroit Red Wings’ Paul Coffey became the fourth player in NFL history to get 1,000 assists, he was called to the phone between periods. It was the Kings’ Wayne Gretzky on the line.

“You’ve only got about five or six hundred more to go until you catch me,” the Great One told Coffey. Later, Coffey said he missed a good comeback.

“If I would have been thinking, I would have said, ‘Oh, I thought this was the president. Who are you?’ ”

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Trivia time: How many Ivy League teams have played in the Rose Bowl game?

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Trivia time II: How many of those Ivy League teams actually played in the Rose Bowl at Pasadena?

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Strange game: There must be a big difference between St. Andrews and the course in Montego Bay, Jamaica, where the Johnnie Walker World Championship of Golf was played last week.

John Daly shot 67-71-73-71--282 in winning the British Open at St. Andrews in July. At Montego Bay he shot 80-80-84-80--324 and finished 45 strokes behind the winner.

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Bleak future: Folks in Montana should be happy over the Grizzlies winning the Division I-AA football championship, but if kicker Andy Larson can be believed, there’s not much more to look forward to.

“It’s probably the biggest win Montana will ever have,” Larson said after kicking the field goal that beat Marshall, 22-20.

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Baseball bartering: How about livening up the baseball scene with a trade that would send Manager Tommy Lasorda to the San Francisco Giants and bring Dusty Baker to the Dodgers? Don’t laugh, that sort of thing has been done.

In August 1960, the Detroit Tigers and Cleveland Indians traded managers. Jimmy Dykes moved from Detroit to Cleveland, and Joe Gordon went from the Indians to the Tigers.

The trade did little for either American League team. The Indians finished fourth and the Tigers were sixth.

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Tough life: From comedy writer Jerry Perisho: “In their divorce proceedings, Barry Bonds’ wife, Sun, is asking for $93,000 per month. That’s big money! What’s their kid’s name, Savings Bonds?”

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Painted over: When the Charlotte Hornets traded center Alonzo Mourning to the Miami Heat, it meant that a gigantic mural of Mourning on a nine-story building had to be replaced. The Hornets took no chances on the replacement.

Featured on the side of the First Union Bank building will be mascot Hugo the Hornet.

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Trivia answer: Four: Brown, 1916; Pennsylvania, 1917; Harvard, 1920; and Columbia, 1934.

Trivia answer II: Only one, Columbia. The others played at Tournament Park, now part of the Caltech campus.

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Quotebook: Clipper center Brian Williams, after fouling out of a recent game and tearing off his jersey: “I would have loved to have ripped the hair out of my head, but my hair’s too short.”