What Grows in L.A.? A Sardonic Slogan
The cosmos works in mysterious ways--especially in L.A.
Friday offered an example. That was the day news reports first appeared about L.A.’s new marketing slogan: “It’s amazing what grows in Los Angeles.” By happy coincidence, it was also the day “Volcano” erupted in a theater near you, dramatizing the ultimate price of Metro Rail construction.
Hmmm. Let’s think of some other amazing things that grow in L.A. Michael Eisner’s bank account, for example.
Ba-da-bing. Yes, as mottoes go, this slogan is searching for a punch line. And as I was driving to work Friday, trying to come up a better motto for the city I love, L.A. suddenly presented me with a cosmic moment all my own.
On KABC, Michael Jackson was interviewing Ralph Nader. Then I noticed the old automobile in front of me. It was a metallic blue Corvair, the car that made Nader’s career. And just like that, it came to me.
“Los Angeles: Unsafe at Any Speed.”
The marketing people won’t like it, of course, but I think it’s pretty good. Part of my infatuation, perhaps, comes from the way the words just popped into my cranium. But the more I think about it, the more virtues I discover.
First of all, it’s honest. Los Angeles is unsafe, and any giant city that claims to be otherwise is a big, fat liar. Relatively speaking, Los Angeles is safer than many places, not as safe as some others. But it isn’t just crime, of course, that makes L.A. unsafe. You may be lying in bed, traveling zero miles per hour, when suddenly everything starts shaking.
Another virtue: The slogan plays off our car culture. The cliche is true: Nowhere else do people live so much of their lives behind the wheel. Billions are being sunk into a subway system--but will you ever ride it to work? In these parts, the car is king.
Apart from its honesty and the allusion to the automobile, there’s another reason I like “Los Angeles: Unsafe at Any Speed.”
I like it because it’s sardonic, and L.A., thanks to Hollywood, is nothing if not sardonic. Consider Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.,” an ode that has been embraced as the city’s unofficial anthem.
I’ve mentioned here before a running argument I’m having with a friend about this tune. He thinks most Angelenos don’t get the jaded irony of Newman’s lyrics, that they don’t listen to such lines as “look at that bum over there, man, he’s down on his knees.”
My friend thinks Newman is putting down L.A. I think my friend is the one who doesn’t get it.
Newman, after all, also sings, “look at these women, ain’t nothin’ like ‘em nowhere” and “crank up the Beach Boys, don’t let the music stop.” All I know is that whenever that hard-driving beat comes on, I crank up Randy Newman. It’s a song about driving around the streets of L.A., sung for people who are driving around L.A. It’s about living in the city and loving it, despite the many imperfections.
“Victory Boulevard?” Newman asks.
“WE LOVE IT!” the chorus sings.
There’s a defiant pride and, given the song’s title, I suspect that Newman may have been inspired by what must be the greatest municipal marketing slogan ever conceived. I don’t mean “L.A.’s the place.” I mean the simple “I love New York,” or if you prefer, I (Heart) NY.
That was a defiant slogan too, conceived at a time when New York-bashing was very popular. The message was: You might not like New York, but I do, and you don’t know what you’re missing. L.A.-bashing was common by the time Newman offered his somewhat jaded response. And if the Lakers progress through the playoffs, we’ll be hearing it again and again and again.
Newman’s song has done more for L.A. than anything the New Los Angeles Marketing Partnership has come up with. Founded two years ago to market the region, NewLAMP’s first slogan was “Together we’re the best. Los Angeles.” That always struck me as the Pollyannaish spin of something anguished, plaintive, genuine: “Can’t we all just get along?”
At the time, a NewLAMP spokeswoman told me that part of its purpose was to get Angelenos feeling good about the city. When I suggested that the slogan’s rah-rah pep squad quality didn’t really capture the essence of L.A., she suggested that you have to hear the whole text and listen to the music to appreciate it.
That warning also goes with “It’s amazing what grows in Los Angeles.” Those words alone don’t sum up an ad campaign. You need the other words, images and music. A poster celebrates, among other things, the space shuttle, fortune cookies and Bugs Bunny. A radio commercial refers to all sorts of bustling businesses.
I know this because, as I drove past the Corvair and was ruminating about “Los Angeles: Unsafe at Any Speed,” one of the new NewLAMP commercials came on the radio. Another cosmic moment! The commercial was OK, a lot better than the new slogan alone, but beyond that, not especially memorable.
I asked some friends at work for suggestions. My favorite was a commercial featuring a digitized Dorothy walking a yellow brick road through L.A. and saying, “Earthquakes and riots and fires, oh my!”
Works for me. And to that, let me add just one other thought:
Go Lakers!
Scott Harris’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Readers may write to Harris at the Times Valley Edition, 20000 Prairie St., Chatsworth, CA 91311, or via e-mail at scott.harris@latimes.com Please include a phone number.
