Now We Know What Kobe Did Last Summer

Kobe Bryant’s sister, Sharia, commenting on her 20-year-old brother in a Los Angeles magazine article written by Mark Rowland:

“He’s mature when he’s doing business,” she said. “When he’s home, he’s a jokester. He got this ‘Scream’ mask from [director] Wes Craven, so that’s his latest thing.

“He’ll put on a long black trench coat and hide in the bushes, so everyone who comes to the house gets scared to death. That’s how mature he is.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for field goals attempted in a game?

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Fun and games: Woody Paige in the Denver Post: “The IOC always is concerned about the dope that countries’ competitors take. Why isn’t the organization just as concerned about the IOC dopes who take from the competing countries?”

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Sharing: Boxing promoter Don King dressed up as Santa Claus for a group of kids at a holiday party.

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Said talk-show host Conan O’Brien: “Don King’s Santa is just a little bit different. He keeps half of everything he gives the kids.”

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Fish sale: Bob Ryan in the Boston Globe: “Alfonseca, Counsell, Floyd and Hernandez? No, it’s not a diversity-minded law firm.

“They go by the first names of Antonio, Craig, Cliff, and Livan, and they’re all that’s left of the 1997 [World Series] champion Florida Marlins.”

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Academy Award? Mike Lupica in the New York Daily News, on Kevin Greene’s sideline attack on an assistant coach during last Sunday’s Carolina Panther game:

“Greene gets off far too easy, apparently because he cried so much after the game. People thought he was auditioning for Barbara Walters.”

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Let’s hope not: Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times on U.S. Rep. Mary Bono, Sonny’s widow: “If only she’d marry U2’s Bono, divorce him and marry NFL quarterback Steve Bono, she’d be Mary Bono Bono Bono.”

Wait a minute: From the UCLA women’s basketball media guide: Junior point guard Erica Gomez lists her “biggest sports thrill” as “beating Alabama in the second round of the NCAA tournament.”

That’s the game UCLA lost on a terrible call.

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Trivia answer: Jim Bakken of the St. Louis Cardinals, nine, against Pittsburgh on Sept. 24, 1967. He made seven, sharing an NFL record with Rich Karlis and Chris Boniol.

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And finally: In Karl Malone’s new comic book, the Mailman battles--who else?--mail pirates several centuries into the future after getting unfrozen.

Writes Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune, “And the way they froze Malone, of course, was to tell him he was in the finals against Michael [Jordan] again.”