Section Gee! Advice, Humor, Comics, Horoscope, Kids : LAUGH LINES

Round 1: After losing the fight, Oscar De La Hoya apologized to L.A. sports fans. “Which isn’t really necessary. We’ve got the Dodgers. We’ve got the Angels. We’ve got the Clippers. We’re used to losing.” (Jay Leno)

Round 2: The fight’s outcome isn’t official until both fighters pass drug tests. “You know, this is probably the only country in the world that has higher standards for our boxers than we do for our presidential candidates.” (Leno)

That Explains It: In a recent interview with Bill Bradley, reporter Sam Donaldson admitted he once smoked pot. “Apparently it was around the same time that he bought his hairpiece.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

Stories reported by Sam Donaldson after smoking pot:

9. “Next--An Exclusive Interview With This Dude I Met at a Phish Concert”

7. “Our Person of the Week--David Crosby”

6. “Breaking News--Look at My Hand!”

5. “Some Jerk in a Raiders Jacket Sells ABC Newsman Bag of Oregano”

4. “Cool Ranch Doritos--Yes!”

2. ‘Slobodan. Slooo-Bodan. Slobo-Dobo-Dan”

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.