KEEP IT BETWEEN THE TACKLES AND BLAME THE MESSENGER

Tampa Bay at Chicago, 10 a.m., Channel 11. Might the Bears be a tad distracted heading into this one? Last Sunday, the Bears lost to Green Bay with an offensive game plan borrowed from the Canton Bulldogs and all Coach Dick Jauron can do is complain about sideline reporters sideline reporting about an argument between Bear defensive players and “offensive coordinator” (their term, not mine) John Shoop. “The problem is everything that’s said on the sideline is now public because there are microphones and dangling objects on the field and they record every word you say,” Jauron says. What dangling objects? Oh, right. Jim Miller’s throwing arm, atrophying from lack of use.

The line: Chicago by 3.

SHOW THEM THE EXIT DOOR

Atlanta at Indianapolis, 10 a.m. Jay Mohr, an actor who portrayed a character based on agent Drew Rosenhaus in “Jerry Maguire,” a movie whose lead character is based on agent Leigh Steinberg, is now engaged in an embarrassing public feud with Colt President Bill Polian after criticizing the Colts for their dealings with the injured Edgerrin James, whom Mohr said is represented by agent Drew Rosenhaus, which annoyed Polian, who points out that James is represented by Leigh Steinberg, not Drew Rosenhaus, and the next time someone tries to tell you the NFL is very serious stuff, don’t buy a word of it.

The line: Indianapolis by 4.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE OTHER BRONCOS WHO ALSO QUIT BUT STILL SUIT UP EVERY SUNDAY?

Denver at Kansas City, 10 a.m. After walking away from the Broncos in early November to tend to some family matters, wide receiver Eddie Kennison has resurfaced in Kansas City with the Chiefs, who host a bunch of irate Broncos today. “Knowing the way our defense felt about that situation,” Denver linebacker John Mobley says, “I think there could be a lot of cheap shots if he gets out on that field.” Responds Kennison: “They’re not scaring anybody. I’m a grown man. If they try to do anything that’s ... cheap, that goes to show you what kind of organization they are.” And why, with that kind of talent, they are 7-6.

The line: Pick.

ACTUALLY, THE BENGALS’ GUY IS SOMEWHERE IN THE NEXT COLLEGE DRAFT

Cincinnati at New York Jets, 10 a.m. With the Bengals again playing out the string and wanting to showcase Akili Smith for the 2002 expansion draft, Coach Dick LeBeau is planning to start Smith today in place of Jon Kitna, who is suffering from an injured throwing hand and seven interceptions in five games. Kitna is not happy, telling Cincinnati reporters, “If you think that I’m your guy, then let me play the season out and hopefully we can build some things and get better and get ready for next season. That’s my line of thinking.” That’s not the Bengals’ line of thinking, Jon, and I think you know you already answered your own question.

The line: New York by 81/2.

THE VIKINGS JUST WEREN’T GOING TO SIT FOR THAT

Minnesota at Detroit, 10 a.m. Randy Moss, a sitcom unto himself, was fined $15,000 this week by the Vikings for verbally abusing sponsors on the team bus who had the audacity to occupy the row of seats he wanted for the ride back to the hotel after Minnesota’s 48-17 loss at Philadelphia on Nov. 11. This raises a couple of immediate questions: 1) Why did Moss need to a whole row of seats to kick back awhile after he spent the entire football game doing precisely that? 2) The Vikings have sponsors?

The line: Minnesota by 3.

SLIPPERY WHEN WIDE OPEN

New England at Buffalo, 10 a.m. At 2-10 after last Sunday’s one-point victory over 1-12 Carolina, the Bills were pleased to announce this week that their season is over in four more games and that the Pro Football Hall of Fame has requested the gloves and shoes worn by Buffalo fullback Larry Centers, the new all-time pass-receiving leader among running backs. The Bills were happy to comply, once they had the gloves, which dropped a sure scoring pass in the back of the end zone against Carolina, dry-cleaned and degreased.

The line: New England by 4.

CHECKING FACTS AGAIN: YES, COUGHLIN IS STILL 4-8

Jacksonville at Cleveland, 10 a.m. Ten days ago, Jaguar Coach Tom Coughlin was besieged by rumors he was headed to Notre Dame, rumors that stopped last Sunday when Notre Dame announced the hiring of George O’Leary, which meant Coughlin would be stuck in Jacksonville for at least another year, until Notre Dame announced Friday that O’Leary had resigned after inaccuracies were found in his resume, which means Coughlin is back in the race and shows, again, just how quickly things can change in the NFL.

The line: Cleveland by 21/2.

THE COLTS HAVE A WAY OF DOING THAT TO PEOPLE

Miami at San Francisco, 1 p.m., Channel 2. So on Monday night, jumpy Jay Fiedler (On A Hot Tin Roof) composes himself, throws three touchdown passes against the Indianapolis defense and the next thing you know, Dolphin teammate Jason Taylor is comparing him to Jeff Garcia. “He’ll run to pick up the first down, he’ll run to throw, all the things Garcia does,” Taylor told the San Francisco Chronicle, “so they are alike in a lot of ways.” Except for the touchdown passes (Garcia leads, 24-13), interceptions (Fiedler, 15-12) and quarterback ratings (Garcia, 90.6-78.1), yes, they certainly are.

The line: San Francisco by 31/2.

YOU KNOW, YOU DO HAVE A POINT THERE

Dallas at Seattle, 1:15 p.m. You are Mike Holmgren. You believe the future of Seattle Seahawk football rests with young quarterback Matt Hasselbeck and young running back Shaun Alexander. Hasselbeck struggles, gets injured and is replaced by veteran Trent Dilfer, who goes 2-0. Alexander rushes for 1,009 yards and 11 touchdowns while veteran Ricky Watters is injured. All four players are now fit. You go with youth at quarterback, sticking with Hasselbeck, but not at running back, benching Alexander for Watters. The media asks why. You respond, “To compare the running back situation to what is happening at quarterback is unfair to those guys, and it shouldn’t be done, really.”

The line: Seattle by 51/2.

NO WONDER SCHOTTENHEIMER HAS PROBLEMS

Philadelphia at Washington, 1:15 p.m. Darrell Green, ancient cornerback, said before the season he would retire after 2001, but now says he could play three or four more years, but then adds, “Right now, as far as we stand, nothing’s changed,” but then adds that lots of people have been begging him to play another year and that he’s now thinking about it. Green plays for the Redskins, who lost their first five games of 2001, then won their next five, then lost the game after that, then won the game after that. Question for the Redskins today: Can any of you please make up your minds?

The line: Philadelphia by 3.

BUT BY NOW, MOST OF THE PACKERS HAVE THAWED OUT

Green Bay at Tennessee, 1:15 p.m., Channel 11. Green Bay has never lost a postseason game played at Lambeau Field, so the Packers’ game plan, according to Brett Favre, is to win their last four regular-season games and “have everybody come here in the playoffs. No one wants to come here in late January. I don’t even know if some of our guys want to.” Which explains, finally, why the Packers missed the playoffs the last two years.

The line: Green Bay by 21/2.

PARTY’S AT JOE HORN’S HOUSE

St. Louis at New Orleans, Monday, 6 p.m., Channel 7. The Saints are 3-1 in their last four games against the Rams, a statistical aberration that has New Orleans receiver Joe Horn nevertheless crowing, “The Rams know what time it is. We have their number.” This half amuses and half annoys Ram defensive end Chidi Ahanotu. “It’s like this is their only game they live for, for some reason,” Ahanotu told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. “And all the rest of the games they lay eggs.... It’s time to shut these guys up and let the Saints concentrate on something else.” Such as where they plan to watch the playoffs this season.

The line: St. Louis by 6.