It’s Hard to Appear Innocent While Wearing Orange Pants in Court

Afriend drove her son Eric almost 250 miles from Orange County to San Luis Obispo to fight a traffic ticket he had incurred up there.

Eric, an honor student, is an imposing figure, being a 240-pound college football player -- one who recently had his head shaved for the coming season.

They made it to court just in time, only for the bailiff to tell them that Eric’s short pants were unacceptable.

Hearing of their long trip, the bailiff offered to lend him some “orange prison pants.” Eric said sure.

Unflustered by the togs in court, Eric demonstrated that he had auto insurance and had his fine reduced. Afterward, he went into a restroom to change.

“A couple of hippie/stoner types in the hall were taking it all in,” his mother said. “One elbowed the other when he saw Eric reappear and said, ‘Dude, that guy just changed out of his orange. I think he’s going to bolt.’ ” Mom tried to convince them that her son was a good boy. “They looked at me,” she recalled, “as if to say, ‘Denial!’ ”

‘Nuff said: Frank Henley sent along a snapshot that he titled “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy” (see photo).

Unclear on the concept: Thomas Edward Wall of Rancho Palos Verdes couldn’t help but chuckle over one rule at a strip club (see accompanying).

Weird world of animals: Today’s exhibits (see accompanying) include a spot remover, noticed by Pat O’Raidy of Torrance, which, well, I’m not sure what it does except, possibly, get rid of your pet. (I would be especially careful if your dog’s name is Spot.)

And Jim Moore of Nipomo came across an ad that prompted him to say, “Breaded cockatoo may taste better than veal, but PETA would never approve,” referring to the animal rights organization, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Something wrong with the microphone? I know that L.A.’s baseball team hasn’t had the greatest season, but I was surprised, while scanning the Fashion Wire Daily, to read that the Italian designer Giorgio Armani recently declared, “Could the Dodgers suck any bigger this year?” I read the story about his appearance in Beverly Hills more closely and realized that the words were those of his translator at the event -- mischievous comic Steve Martin. Armani had actually said, “What a beautiful night.”

When Armani said, “I’m so happy to be here in California,” Martin translated it as, “I would like to announce that I’m running for governor of California.”

Actually, those last two statements are pretty much interchangeable these days.

MiscelLAny: Southern California visitor Alan Beauchesne says that “we Boston drivers are not to be fooled with, but even I stayed away from a guy we saw on the 101.” The guy’s plate said: “RETALI8.”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com