Ryder Cup Hopes Going Up in Smoke for the U.S.

Strange, but true, excerpts from USA Network’s Friday coverage of the Ryder Cup:

* In a video recap of the Ryder Cup’s opening ceremony, USA’s cameras captured one odd pairing -- Michael Phelps standing alongside Larry Brown.

What was that? A photo op of the Americans who turned in the best and worst performances at the Athens Olympics?

* In the middle of the first day of this intense and pressurized international competition, another USA camera zoomed in on European golfer Darren Clarke, in between a couple of very important strokes, puffing calmly on a cigar.

Watching this, host Bill Macatee noted that Clarke was “one of the most amiable guys around, 36 years old, from Northern Ireland. He’s looking -- despite the cigar -- very physically fit these days.”

What was that? Clarke falling off the new fitness-regime wagon? A very early victory cigar? More fuel for the fire in the golf-isn’t-really-a-sport argument?

It’s difficult imagining this happening in any other major international team competition. At least until ESPN closes the deal on “The Ryder Cup of Poker.”

* Taking a cue from Brown and his NBA underachievers, Hal Sutton’s “dream team” of Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson went 0-2 as Europe opened its largest first-day lead over Team USA, 6 1/2 -1 1/2 .

Woods and Mickelson reacted by refusing USA’s request for an interview.

Macatee called it “a disastrous start for the Americans in terms of Mickelson and Woods. If your top two guys can’t get it done for you, the rest of the team is in real trouble.”

Added Gary Koch, “Especially with as much as Hal Sutton kept saying, ‘These are my guns. These are the guys I expect to get the points for us and kind of lead this team.’ And I think he’s got some serious decisions to make for [today].”

Macatee: “Do you keep them together?”

Koch: “If I’m Hal Sutton, I don’t. I break them up and try to change the momentum a little bit.”

NBC takes over Ryder Cup coverage today, beginning at 5 a.m., and Sunday, starting at 9 a.m. In a conference call earlier this week, NBC Sports executive producer Tommy Roy said the story, as far as NBC and ratings were concerned, “is being able to show players choking, quite frankly. There’s a ton of pressure on these guys. You can see that in them -- the way they tee up the ball and their hands are shaking and the way they react to poor shots and bad shots.”

And the way the players who aren’t choking react by lighting up a mid-round cigar.

Very clearly, the heat is on the Americans as play resumes today.

And the Europeans? It’s not the heat, it’s the humidor.

Also available for viewing the days ahead:

TODAY

* Texas Rangers at Angels

(Channel 11, 1 p.m.)

Hide the women and children, Frank Francisco has come to town. The Ranger relief pitcher has appealed his suspension for breaking the nose of a female spectator by flinging a folding chair at a heckler during Monday’s game in Oakland. The incident was the most-replayed sports clip of the week, except at Fox Sports Southwest, which covered the game live.

Fox Sports Southwest did not show a single replay of Francisco’s tirade during its live telecast. Mike Anastassiou, Fox Sports Southwest executive producer, told the Dallas Morning News the station “didn’t want to sensationalize the situation and glorify what happened.”

Translation: Fox Sports Southwest thought it more important to protect the Texas Rangers brand than to cover the news.

* USC at Brigham Young

(ESPN, 7 p.m.)

Having survived the vicious assault of the Stanford band and its imaginative “tribute” to polygamy, BYU next prepares for the top-ranked Trojans, who come in as 26-point favorites. The Cougars thought they were offended last Saturday.

* UCLA at Washington

(Channel 7, 4 p.m.)

A matchup of teams that both lost to Fresno State during the last nine months. Still, ABC plans to go ahead and televise the game.

* Oscar De La Hoya versus Bernard Hopkins (HBO pay-per-view, 6 p.m.)

Stephen A. Smith, the ESPN shouting head who also writes for the Philadelphia Inquirer, began his Friday column from Las Vegas this way: “Some people talk too much. Then there’s Bernard Hopkins, who outtalks them all.”

Not when Screamin’ A is in the building, he doesn’t.

Arsenal versus Bolton

* (Fox Sports World, 4:30 a.m.)

Arsenal tries to extend its English-league-record unbeaten streak to 45 matches. Evidently, you have to get up very early in the morning to beat Arsenal’s Gunners. Also, if you want to watch them.

SUNDAY

* Dodgers at Colorado Rockies

(Channel 13, noon)

If you’d rather not watch American golfers choking in the Ryder Cup, the Dodgers in the National League West title race offer another option.

* Boston Red Sox at New York Yankees

(ESPN, 10 a.m.)

Very big baseball game between American League archrivals at Yankee Stadium. Pedro Martinez starts for the Red Sox. And, guaranteed: If Martinez begins to tire and struggle, Grady Little won’t do anything about it.

Somewhere, you have to imagine Little will be tuning in. Unless they don’t have cable in Gulag Red Sox Nation.

* Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans

(Channel 2, 10 a.m.)

In this week’s Sports Illustrated, Colt running back Edgerrin James said he “could play for [Coach Tony] Dungy till I’m 50 ... but I get lonely in Indy.” Especially after fumbling twice in the red zone as Indianapolis loses its opener to New England by three points.

MONDAY

* Minnesota Vikings at Philadelphia Eagles

(Channel 7, 6 p.m.)

It’s Randy Moss versus Terrell Owens as ABC steals an idea from VH1. Monday night, from Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field, it’s “Divas Live”!