‘American Horror Story: Hotel’ title sequence is a germaphobe’s nightmare

Good Lord, this is the weirdest one yet.

Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk’s “American Horror Story” series is on its fifth season, and with each new season comes a different set of characters, elaborate sets, horrific and often sexually threatening monsters and (of course) a new title sequence.

And “American Horror Story: Hotel’s” contribution to the rattling introduction may be the oddest of them all.

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The new opener has the same maddening noises that constitute some sort of “American Horror Story” theme song ripping over another collection of maids and tenants lounging in a dirty hotel on top of an even dirtier mattress.

Watch as a golum-faced creature rubs its sexy legs over a bloodstained couch, bloodstained carpet, bloodstained walls and even bloodstained sheets. Germs, germs everywhere, and in between it all, flashes of the Ten Commandments in neon lights across a bloodstained wall.

In other “American Horror Story” revelations, let’s talk about this behind-the-scenes look at the actual show, with actual footage from the secretive series, including first looks at a lot of the characters in wardrobe, specifically the fantastic Denis O’Hare who is playing a character named Liz Taylor, but not the actual actress Taylor.

“I’m playing a person who is inspired by the awesomeness of ‘Butterfield Eight’ and ‘Cleopatra,’ and eye makeup like that,” O’Hare told the press at the TCAs. “I shaved my head for the part, and other body parts. I work in the hotel. I work with Kathy. And I work in the bar, which is fantastic, it’s called Blue Parrot Lounge.”

But more importantly, what in the all-that’s-holy is going on with O’Hare’s hand in that behind-the-scenes footage. It looks gigantic, and possibly morphing into some sort of claw? Is Liz Taylor also a monster? Well what we do know is that her makeup is spot “Cleopatra” on.

The whole list of characters (that we know of) was also made known at the TCAs, including “New Girl’s” Max Greenfield, who is playing a seriously down-and-out looking junkie, and Lily Rabe, who will be returning to the new series portraying real-life killer Aileen Wuornos.

The official premiere, which will most likely only spark more questions rather than answers, is Wednesday.

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