That said, now that we're back at home pestering our loved ones with constant pantomimes of the "Thunderstruck" guitar intro, we feel like we're in a good position to tell you Weekend 2 Coachellans what to look out for.
1. It's smooth sailing around the fest
Coachella has almost hit a Platonic ideal, where all of Goldenvoice's incremental improvements have added up to just about as efficient a fest as one could ask for on this scale. Yes, the new permanent bathrooms got trashed within with a couple of hours, but at this point, if you're into Coachella, it's now the best possible version of itself in terms of logistics. Even the security guard at the door of the Yuma tent was giving out high-fives and encouragement to have a blast inside. If the lines and crowds and heat and parking situation scared you before, rest easy.
2. The crowd is even more about EDM than before
It's well-documented that, in terms of its younger audience, Coachella is essentially a rave fest with classic rock headliners. Crowds for Flosstradamus and Kaskade were main-stage caliber, and bottlenecks at the outside Sahara Tent were thicker than they've ever been. If you're still not convinced about EDM's supremacy among under-30 festival regulars, you'll get it this weekend.
3. Madonna probably won't make out with Drake
The .gifs don't lie. Drake said he was mighty pleased with Madge's improvised smooch, but it's hard to imagine a repeat performance now. Madonna dines out on sexually provocative shock value, and there won't be the same mileage this week. Maybe she'll take the occasion to enter into a platonic LLC with Drake onstage?
4. See Jack White
It might be your last time for a long time. As much as we needled Coachella for being so classic-rock heavy this year in the headliners, White was positively electric onstage. Despite being an incredibly famous, arena-sized headliner, he somehow overachieved in his Main Stage set, and if he holds true to his promise of taking a long hiatus from touring, this might be your best chance for years to see him.
5. Call the hippos
The installation "The Corporate Headquarters," by Derek Doublin and Vanessa Bonet, was a highlight of the Coachella grounds that never ceased to amuse. Be sure to pick up that red phone and give those hippos a call (their response is priceless), and wait to see what happens when they play the theme for "2001: A Space Odyssey."