Craig Ferguson kicked off Thursday's episode of "The Late Late Show" with one of the more adorable cold opens in recent memory, creating a scene à la James Bond with Joan, a giggly, mild-mannered audience member in an eye patch.
As Joan, a recent transplant from Chicago, explained to Ferguson, she injured her eye during a fall getting out of bed — hardly the stuff Bond villains are made of. But no matter! Her completely nonthreatening demeanor worked perfectly for the purposes of the impromptu sketch.
With Joan as the villain and Ferguson as Bond (of course), all that was missing was a henchman. That's where Secretariat, "The Late Late Show's" pantomime horse, came in handy.
Ferguson even provided Joan with a bit of menacing dialogue: "Good evening, Mr. Bond. Don't be afraid of my bubbly Jacuzzi, it's just deadly piranhas."
Move over, Javier Bardem. There's a new villain in town.