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‘Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars’ recap: New styles, Paula Abdul

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In Week 4 of “Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars,” we were treated to an extra score and a little bit of slapstick courtesy of special guest judge Paula Abdul. The former Laker girl, choreographer and “American Idol” mainstay straight up lent her epic reality TV show critiques to the “DWTS” all-star world. She stated that this was more like Week 14 rather than Week 4, asked where Simon and Randy were (“I want to be Randy,” Len Goodman pitched in), threw down a challenge for dancers to get outside their comfort zone and became fast friends with Bruno Tonioli. I’m forever your girl, Paula. Can’t wait for you and Bruno to have your own spinoff variety show. Please continue to touch him so I can tell you how I feel.

This week, each of the remaining nine couples had to perform an unfamiliar dance style chosen for them by a competing couple. Some donned Cookie Monster glitter wraps. Others put on a cloak of uncomfortability (Kelly and Val, ahem). And we got our first 10s of the season!

Though the top of the leaderboard looked like a redux of Season 8, with Gilles Marini and Shawn Johnson tied for first place.

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PHOTOS: ‘Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars’: Meet the Season 15 cast

Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd had arguably one of the hardest tasks of the week, assigned Bollywood by Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas. Though how hard could life be when you’re sitting poolside in Miami? Still, Gilles and Peta had their share of frustrations: First with learning Bollywood dance, which neither of them had danced before, and then putting the routine together before Monday night. Their dance started in silhouette, with Gilles coaxing the genies out of the lamp, set to “Jai Ho” from “Slumdog Millionaire.” The bright colors of the Bollywood costumes fit right into the “DWTS” universe, though Gilles’ outfit could have used more sparkle. Gilles’ “Brothers and Sisters” costar Rachel Griffiths liked it. So did all the judges. Len Goodman said he knew nothing about Bollywood, but he knows what he likes, and this “was hotter than a curry.” Paula took on a Bruno persona and called it “smoky and spicy.” “A Bollywood superstar is born!” Bruno boomed. “Stylistically, it was perfection.” Carrie Ann Inaba went to India by way of the Middle East, saying “Namaste – that was beyond belief. Aladdin has nothing on you.” And Gilles and Peta were treated to the first 10s of the season, as well a standing ovation by Maks and Val. Total: 39.5 out of 40.

How are Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough ever going to top their epic crash pad performance from last week? Derek worried that people think they’ve peaked. But to Shawn, “I think it’s just the beginning.” And lucky for us, they have turned into quite the dynamic duo. Shawn has matured in her dance and still has the energy and optimism and competitive drive of an Olympic athlete. Derek is a choreographer extraordinaire. They are the team to beat. Added bonus: A cameo by the Fab Five, the gold-medal-winning U.S. Olympic Women’s Gymnastics team when Shawn took Derek to her hometown of Des Moines, Iowa. Loved how McKayla Maroney pretty much clinched a spot in “DWTS” Season 16 with her sass and “not impressed” face. And Shawn and Derek’s subsequent mambo was my favorite routine of the night. Shawn did all the flashy flips and tricks, made all the more impressive this time because she did them in heels. The routine was fast, and she was on point. And that lift onto Derek’s shoulder that went immediately into the back flip was pretty jaw-droppingly terrific. Sure, Derek had to put one of his signature crotch bob moves in there, but Shawn owned this routine, and has stuck the landing as my favorite competitor this season. Not only was the mambo crazy, awesome, impeccable — it had 3/4 of the judges and the rest of the audience hooting on their feet. It even brought out a grateful Bruno. Shawn is “mesmerizing sexy out of this world,” he crowed. “You think you’ve seen it all, and it keeps getting better! Thank you!” “If I were the other contestants, I would be a little scared of you guys right now,” said Carrie Ann. “It’s not just about the tricks, it’s how you finish every single line.” “Good news from Goodman – I really liked it,” Len said and smiled. “To get that speed and all that athletic movement, and yet still keep rhythm and timing, that is brilliant.” Paula went all tactile, stroking Bruno’s chest in an effort to tell Shawn how she feels. “Shawn, you have turned into a sexy young lady. You were down and dirty with the hips, you were elegant and shining … To me, my most favorite dance.” Total: 39.5

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When I first caught a glimpse of them in those shots right before commercial, I thought Kelly Monaco and Valentin Chmerkovskiy were hilarious. Val was shirtless. Kelly was wearing practically nothing. And nothing existed outside their love and constant eye contact with each other. Val was Fabio, and Kelly was the damsel clinging onto him. Together, they made for a perfect portrait of a Harlequin romance. But after seeing their contemporary routine as well as the way that Kelly talked about Val breaking down her walls, and Val spouting praises about how he’s very blessed to have met Kelly “and be part of her journey,” I’m more inclined to think that those reflective moon eyes are real. This journey was hard won, as Val, for all his two decades of ballroom dance, had never performed contemporary. Val taught Kelly how to trust again, and Kelly told Val that “you’ll get your passion.” Both were exhibited in their contemporary routine, set to Coldplay’s “Fix You.” The Harold Wheeler Band was hidden behind a passionate red curtain, making for an intimate stage where “she doesn’t want to forgive him, but she doesn’t want to let him go.” Len said Kelly was the season’s “biggest revelation,” and he enjoyed seeing all the contrasts of big, small, hard, soft, love, hate in the performance. “It was such a beautiful routine,” Paula waxed. Bruno thought Kelly and Val had arguably the hardest task, and “you did it beautifully. Emotionally charged, deeply felt. I believed every moment of it, and you should be proud.” “You laid your heart out and your lines were gorgeous to match,” Carrie Ann swooned. “It was stunning.” Right now, they get my vote as the couple most likely to share a trailer. Total: 37.5.

PHOTOS: ‘Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars’: Meet the Season 15 cast

Shawn Johnson’s tumbling casts a pretty deep shadow, and Melissa Rycroft was keen to step out of it with her jitterbug with Tony Dovolani. Melissa knew that she and Tony needed to pick up and lift up with their jitterbug this week. Tony knew all the lifts they were going to have to pack into their performance and was “sorry for this week already.” Melissa’s kid threw down a bunch of raspberries. Melissa’s pretty fearless for a non-Olympic gymnast, though she unfortunately got caught up in some of the lifts during their performance. But the way she did the headfirst dive down Tony’s back and then flipped was pretty crazy. Paula liked how Tony and Melissa fit together, and thought “the footwork was impeccable.” “What a swinger!” Bruno exclaimed about Melissa. “Fearless and fierce.” “Everything looks effortless,” said Carrie Ann. “The partnership is working for both of you.” “This was more of a glitterbug than a jitterbug,” said Len with a smile. “You made little Lenny very happy.” Didn’t Brooke Burke-Charvet look like she could be Tony and Melissa’s long-lost sister in that same shade of green? Total: 37.

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Cheryl Burke was so overwhelmed with the unfamiliar bolero that she employed four instructors to teach her and Emmitt Smith the ways of this sexy dance. Who knew that the bolero was so rumbantic? Emmitt, however, was suffering from information overload and feeling like a bull in a china shop, describing himself as a Ford 150 “trying to be elegant, trying to be stylish” among a bunch of luxury cars. Well, this Ford sure can run, as Emmitt’s bolero, set to Leona Lewis’ “Better in Time,” was smooth and sexy even in a satin shirt whose bottom half had been replaced with mesh. “There’s nothing better than watching a big burly man getting all dramatic and sexy,” Carrie Ann said, fanning herself. “Your lines were absolutely graceful.” Len acknowledged he was concerned about this style, but said Emmitt exhibited a “lovely fluidity of movement, a little raunchy touches … the lifts were clean … fabulous.” “It was exquisite. It was sensual,” purred Paula. “You are a sexy beast.” Bruno called the mood “steamier than August in Louisiana … You’ve just got it, man.” This bolero earned the duo four 9’s, Paula’s with a snap. Total: 36. Skylar, I hope you’re happy.

Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel channeled the 1970s and Studio 54 for their Bee Gees disco routine. Sabrina was determined to increase entertainment value and be edgy so she and Louis wouldn’t fall victim to the bottom two again this week. To that effect, Chaka Khan Sabrina came out in a blue frock that made one wonder if that’s what Cookie Monster would look like had he gone drag and hit the Studio 54 scene. But that frock was soon discarded and out popped a delightfully glittery gold fringe number with Cheetah print trim. And Louis took off his blue jacket and revealed an era-appropriate button-down shirt … composed entirely of gold sequins. If ever there were established a “DWTS” museum, these outfits have definitely earned their place in it. Sure, Louis nearly dropped her like a window shade at the end. But what’s the fun of the ’70s if you’re not on the edge? “You can never have too many disco balls,” Tom said, wisely. Bruno called Sabrina “the disco diva” but said this was the first time she lost timing … twice. Carrie Ann said it was “vibrant, it was beautiful,” though one dismount she kind of hit the floor. The routine took Len back to his swinging ’70s heyday. “I’m back in 1978. Got my black suit and white shirt,” he reminisced. “I thought it was fabulous. I was with you and I loved it.” Paula said “there were a couple missteps,” but loved the feathers, the hair, the glitter, the sequins, the polyester pants.” Total: 35.5.

Girl, I must warn you — it’s tough to go hip-hop when you hail from a ballroom world. Karina Smirnoff surely felt the pain, both internally and physically. To think: Karina and Apolo Anton Ohno’s journey through hip-hop started out so innocuously, at a couples’ massage studio. Karina had not been trained in hip-hop dance, so they brought in choreographer Tony Michaels, who told both “you gotta swag these out.” The song was Bell Biv DeVoe’s iconic “Poison” (“never trust a big butt and a smile”) and the dance came with a chain link fence and a swath of smoke. Karina had on “Pretty Woman” thigh-high boots, and both she and Apolo sported his signature bandannas. It’s just too bad Karina slipped in the middle of the routine, and was visibly embarrassed and upset for the rest of the evening that she had let her partner down. But while the streets are hard and unforgiving, the reality TV ballroom world is nothing if not supportive. Carrie Ann was genuinely concerned at Karina’s welfare, saying, “We applaud you for all that you’re bringing out tonight.” She also loved how Apolo “brought a modern edge to” ’90s hip-hop. Len stood up and threw positive street signs. “Karina, to be honest, I wasn’t even looking at you,” the head judge offered. Apolo “came out and you were fantastic.” Paula commiserated with the pro dancer. “Professionally, you’re always hardest on yourself,” she nodded sagely. “Apolo, kudos to you: This style is natural to you … You’ve got the swagger.” Bruno kept it real, saying Apolo “rocked it. You had the attitude, you had the moves.… You even made the running man look good, and that is rough.” Total: 34.5.

The term rock ‘n’ roll can be open to many different interpretations. Bristol Palin figured it would be more heavy metal headbanger devil horns, but Mark Ballas was thinking more bunny rabbits. The newly reconciled couple decided to put their differences behind them and compromise by eschewing the Harvey costumes but keeping it more ’50s style sock hop with their “At the Hop” routine. It didn’t bode well that Bristol kept asking to simplify the choreography during the rehearsal package, though. All I could see during the performance was a bunch of the same moves with the same sort of bounce. The routine had Sarah Palin on her feet, however, and the judges deemed it the second coming of Bristol. Paula said she’s definitely seeing improvement, and encouraged her to “keep pushing those boundaries – “because if you don’t push them, they end up pushing you.” Bruno said Bristol was very focused and hit all her steps. Carrie Ann motioned her over to the judges’ table and gave her a high-ten. “It’s so nice to see you come out of your shell that way,” she encouraged, though “you lost a little steam at the end of the performance.” Len thought it was a “little safe on occasion. But for me, your best dance so far.” And then they received very generous 8’s across the board. Total: 32.

When Kirstie Alley first got the notice from Sabrina that she and Maksim Chmerkovskiy were going to dance the Charleston this week, she fell to the floor. “At first, I was like, oh, Lord, another fast dance,” she moaned. But then she embraced the mission with her usual gusto and her resolve to be the best dancer she can be. And Kirstie is certainly moving out of her comfort zone. A cartwheel trick had her in tears, it was such a relief “and sort of terrifying.” Kirstie came out of her Charleston cake feisty, delectable and delicious, and did more than just her goal “to live through this dance” in this “42nd Street” rendition. “You turn Monday into a fun day,” Len beamed. “I would have liked it a little cleaner here and there, but for fun you are the best.” Paula said Kirstie danced it “wonderfully – you’re a joy to watch.” Bruno said Kirstie started out “Singin’ in the Rain,” and “ended up like Shelley Winters in ‘The Poseidon Adventure,’” he claimed. “You’re a mad woman and I love you for it.” Carrie Ann thought Kirstie’s “dancing was fabulous,” she said. “The Charleston could have been a little tighter, but I loved it.” Total: 30.

What do you think, ballroom fans? Will Kirstie’s low scores make her the next to leave this competition? How do you think the all-stars stacked up to the challenge of new dances? Should Paula and Bruno have their own show? “Spray tan a milkshake and dance a jitterbug:” Delicious, or gross?

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