Shedding light on a dark subject

They walked for big brothers and best friends and teenage sons and moms and dads. They walked for those who shared their ache as well as for those they hoped never would. They walked to shed light on a dark subject: suicide.

Beginning at Santa Monica City Hall, about 1,000 people participated Saturday in the Out of the Darkness community walk to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Many wore T-shirts with their loved one’s image, while others carried pictures. On the back of everyone’s shirt was a tag that stated for whom they walked. “Today I’m walking for my dad and for myself who was left behind to try to make sense of it,” read one. It was a sentiment echoed by others.

“Only those who have lost someone by suicide understand how painful it is,” said a tearful Marci Seals, who two years ago arrived at her Castaic home to find that her 19-year-old daughter, Michelle, had hanged herself in the garage.

On her second walk, Seals, 56, said the event has helped her more than the grief counseling she initially sought out. “You’re here with people who are experiencing the same type of loss you are. To see people going on with their lives gives me hope.”

The walks began in 2004 and take place in the fall in more than 220 cities across the nation. They’re free, but participants are asked to raise what funds they can. This year, the foundation is on target to raise $5 million for its local and national suicide programs focusing on prevention, research, education, advocacy and survivor loss. Because suicide carries a stigma, many who have trouble discussing their loss feel more comfortable at events that address the subject.

“It’s kind of a thing people don’t talk about as much, and I find it’s harder doing fundraising for this than for charities for children or breast cancer,” said Melanie Postell, 44, whose father suffered from depression and overdosed on pills three decades ago.

Laura Levinsky, a regional director for the foundation, said the walks tend to be emotional because many are admitting for the first time that they have been affected by suicide. “We try to make it much more a celebration of the person’s life,” she said.

Before and after the event, booths offered pamphlets on mental health, support groups and suicide hotlines. On a poster, people could pin photos of their loved ones. Among the guest speakers was champion ballroom dancer Shirley Ballas, who recently began speaking publicly about her brother’s suicide. The crowd was especially moved by a performance by her son, “Dancing With the Stars” regular Mark Ballas, who strummed a guitar and sang a song written for his late uncle. Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol, Ballas’ current dance partner on the show, was also in attendance.

Throughout the three-mile walk, some laughed and talked in groups, others befriended strangers, while a few stuck to themselves. Howard Edelman of Los Angeles jogged alongside the people making their way up Ocean Avenue. He had come to support a friend who lost his wife to suicide.

“This is really important for him,” Edelman, 58, said of his friend Bill. “When they all come together en masse with other people going through the same thing, it helps the grieving process.”

corina.knoll@latimes.com