Up, Down and Middle: How will 3 leer-worthy 'tons' fare in 2013?
If you don't watch starchy public TV soaps, follow gossip blogs or read glossy men's or sports magazines, 2012 may have left you confused. Who keeps leaving the second "w" out of "Downtown," and since when is there a British abbey there? Is the Kate who stays in the bikini (barely) different from or the same as the one who doesn't (occasionally)? Which "ton" is a true royal (careful now; trick question) and which one is gilt merely by association? Why does not knowing the answers to these questions make us feel so clueless, while knowing them makes us feel like stalkers? Are we now done with all three "tons" — Up, Down and Middle? Or will we still have to shoulder the burden in 2013?— Robert Greene
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