Eric Garcetti, L.A.'s new mayor, was just listed on some website as one of the nation’s most dateable mayors. “Fanciable” is probably how the Brits would put it. Never mind that Garcetti is married: He’s got an excellent set of choppers, a SAG-AFTRA card and the bars of a lieutenant in the Navy Reserve.
The better reading, to my way of thinking, is a list of five mayors whom you wouldn’t want to date. So here are the least dateables, the un-dateables, past and present:
- Bob Filner, the ci-devant mayor of San Diego. I know him only by reputation and lawsuit allegations, but he sounds like the kind of man who would hit on the waitress while the two of you were your first date.
- Jerry Springer. A raid of a whorehouse across the Ohio River in Kentucky turned up city council member Springer’s personal check made out for a hooker’s services. The check had bounced. He was reelected the next year and became mayor two years later. Here’s his mea culpa ad from when he later ran for governor.This, of course, laid the perfect groundwork for his future career as a host of a TV show all about bad, bad behavior.
- Jimmy Walker, New York’s Jazz Age mayor. Jaunty in white tie and tails, he squired around showgirls -- and there were plenty of them in New York then -- and left his wife for one. It turns out he was lavishly on the take and fled the country until the hoo-ha -- and the risk of getting thrown in the slammer -- died down. At least he made an honest woman of his showgirl lady friend while he was on the lam.
- Charles Sebastian, mayor of Los Angeles for a couple of years during World War I. He was a former police chief who was good-looking enough to appear in a couple of semi-autobiographical silent movies. He took up with a mistress, and was accused and acquitted of contributing to the delinquency of a minor: that his mistress’ 16-year-old sister sat in the lobby of the hotel where Sebastian and his lady friend were upstairs. He quit his office after barely a year when love letters to his mistress turned up. He sent them to her when he was out of town with his wife, whom he referred to as “the Old Hay-Bag.” They divorced, and he married his lady-love, who was seen years later faithfully pushing her now-sickly husband in a wheelchair along the Venice boardwalk.
- Don Catchen, current mayor of Park Hills, Ky. He fired the police chief, Amy Schworer, who had sued him for sexual harassment and for firing her because she's a woman. He allegedly called her “blondie” and “his girl” in public. He also allegedly asked some Park Hills male cops whether they could work for “that girl” as police chief. Residents, in a survey last year, used words like “embarrassing” and “rude” to describe the mayor. Ladies, he’s the whole un-dateable package: He’s also been accused of bias by some black residents.
And honorary foreign un-dateable mayor: Gallus Strobel, the mayor of Triberg, Germany, who showed what he thought of women’s driving skills by painting what he adjudged to be “easy” parking spots with the symbol for female. He did it, he said, to “challenge” political correctness -- evidently by reinforcing dopey stereotypes.
Who would be on your list?