This mob isn’t much of a hit yet

BOSTON -- If you are a collection of basketball players who call themselves the Bench Mob, there are three things that cannot happen to you in the first game of an NBA Finals.

You cannot get whacked. You cannot be iced. And you can never be clipped.

All of which described the on-court fate of the lovable Lakers reserves at TD Banknorth Garden on Thursday, during a game in which the only mob was the thousands who roared at their demise.

Luke Walton, zero baskets, three fouls.

Beat L.A.!

Sasha Vujacic, two baskets, four fouls.

Lakers Bleep!

Ronny Turiaf, two baskets, three fouls.

Kobe Bleeps!

Jordan Farmar, seven minutes?

Throughout the playoffs, the daring, youthful Lakers mob has stolen crowds, swiped energy and created momentum.

In their first appearance on a Finals stage, though, they were pinched.

By the end of the Boston Celtics’ 98-88 victory, the Lakers’ kid bench looked as frantic as Vujacic’s head, while the Celtics’ veteran bench looked smooth as Sam Cassell’s.

P.J. Brown, six rebounds, two assists.

Cassell, eight points, zero turnovers.

James Posey, one big three-pointer, constant hands on Kobe Bryant.

Said Vujacic: “Being young players, we have to get adjusted to each opponent at the start of the series.”

Countered the Celtics’ Brown: “Being veterans, there isn’t anything out there we haven’t seen, nothing we’re not ready for.”

It seemed that, for once, the Lakers reserves were not ready for this, not the game, and not the pointed questions that came afterward.

So, Ronny Turiaf, the bench struggled, huh?

“I don’t think ‘struggle’ is the right word,” he said. “You always use strong words!”

So what is the right word?

“I think if we make more jump shots, we are not sitting here having this conversation,” he said.

The reserves were indeed a combined five-for-15 shooting.

Yet they did hold the Celtics reserves to seven for 20.

“Defense is important, we played good defense, you have to take that into consideration,” Turiaf said.

But even then, it appeared the Lakers reserves were always getting knocked out of position by hulking Celtics picks and wild Celtics elbows.

Vujacic seemed to be knocked down at least once on every possession while defending Ray Allen.

“They set a little bit of moving picks, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Vujacic said. “I just have to do a better job chasing Ray, I’m going to take that challenge personally.”

If it wasn’t Vujacic being knocked out of bounds, it was Walton being knocked out of position, or Turiaf being knocked into Garnett.

It was as if the Celtics made it a point to take those fresh Lakers faces and rub them into the thick Eastern Conference grime.

“Hey, we were fine against Utah and San Antonio, we will be fine here,” Turiaf said. “Struggling is a very, very strong word.”

Call it what you will, but the Lakers reserves had only four more points than fouls, and a day later, everyone was trying to figure out why.

Coach Phil Jackson was the first one to take the blame.

“I really shortened the minutes of the bench . . . so that’s not their fault about not scoring and no productivity,” he said. “The adjustments that our younger players will make, our bench players will be noticeable as we go through.”

The reason he shortened those minutes is that his veterans were rested and he wasn’t sure how much he could trust the kids on this stage.

But the less they played together, the more they struggled.

The situation became more muddled when Vladimir Radmanovic’s early foul trouble forced Vujacic’s early insertion.

“We couldn’t get into our usual flow because we just didn’t play together,” Walton said. “We’ll adjust, that will change.”

Also for one of the few times in the playoffs, Farmar was not a factor because of concerns that he could not defend Cassell.

“I was ready to go, but Coach knows best, I’m riding with him,” Farmar said.

Then there were other, smaller issues like . . . the length of that long metal piece that holds the basket over the Garden court?

That part of the stanchion is longer than in other gyms. According to the irrepressible Vujacic, that somehow makes it more difficult for depth perception.

“We had a lot of balls go in and out on us, but we’ll get used to the basket,” he said.

Brian Shaw, Lakers assistant coach, heard this explanation and chuckled.

“If we’re making our shots, we’re not looking at anything behind the basket, are we?” he said.

After practice at the Garden on Friday, the Bench Mob was swarmed by the media.

Farmer was surrounded between free throws. Walton was grabbed at midcourt. Turiaf was interrogated by dudes speaking French.

They have a chance to make amends in Game 2. It is an offer they shouldn’t refuse.

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Plaschke, go to latimes.com/plaschke.