Major League Soccer

Oh, to go pro, but it's a yes or no

When I was a kid I dreamed of being a professional athlete. When we lived in Brazil I wanted to play soccer for Flamengo at Maracana Stadium. As a Balti-moron I grew up wanting to throw the pigskin with my boyhood idols Tom Matte and the great Johnny U. I worked on my patented half-court hook so whenever the Celtics called I was ready to bury the shot at the buzzer. And I envisioned myself diving to my right to stop a screaming line drive up the third base line, pushing myself up to my knees and firing a one-hopper to the first baseman just in time to catch the speedy runner just as my favorite sports person of all time, Brooks Robinson, used to do in his sleep. Then reality set in....