‘American Idol’ Top 9 results deliver a shock as Pia is sent home

For the “American Idol” Top 9, the theme was Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Famers. We thought it was one of the best weeks Idol has seen - everybody was at least good. Nobody tanked. So who is going home?

The Bottom 3 came down to Stefano Langone, Pia Toscano and Jacob Lusk. The audience didn’t seem terribly surprised about the two men, but Pia’s addition got some big gasps. After the normal results show filler, Pia was then sent packing. J.Lo was nearly in tears. Randy was speechless.

Um - way to waste the save, judges. Well done.

This is a crime. Pia has the most vocal talent of anyone there. Ugh. This show has become a joke. Two girls left out of seven that made the Top 13? Two?! Holy crap.

After her sing-out on “I’ll Stand By You,” Pia just bursts into tears in Jacob’s arms. Oh, Pia. That is a damn, damn shame.

Let’s see how we got there ...

The kids kick it off with a rock medley that starts off with some “I Love Rock ‘n Roll” with the girls, who all sound pretty great. The back-up from the guys needs work. They do a little better on “The Letter,” but this is still the least rockingest thing ever. Watching Jacob Lusk in his teal sweater bounce up and down to “Sweet Home Alabama” is pretty much the best thing ever, though. And at the end, when the three ladies are shakin’ it on stage - Lauren, Pia and Haley for the next “Charlie’s Angels.” There’s the smart one, the sweet one and then there’s the ‘ho. I’ll let you decide which is which.

The Ford Music Video is tied to the premiere of “Breaking In” and features Paul and Pia committing a heist. They are definitely the prettiest, they’d totally be the criminals. Love Jacob as the sleeping security guard and Casey as the janitor. Hee!

Russell Brand is here. For reasons passing understand, honestly. He does some “funny” things for the Idols. Zzzzzzz.

Finally some results. Casey, Stefano and Lauren are brought down. Stefano should be in the Bottom 3 out of this group, but we’ll see. And then yes, Stefano is in the Bottom 3. That’s OK, he wasn’t the strongest last night.

Now we have Constantine Maroulis here to serenade us with a weird, atonal screamy version of “Unchained Melody.” Somewhere, Simon Cowell just shivered and does not know why. Is this in “Rock of Ages”? Is that why he’s performing this song?

The second group of three is Pia, Paul and Mary - ha, no, Pia, Paul and Scotty. Huh. I would’ve said none of them were in the bottom, but maybe it’s a fake out. But it’s not a fake out - Pia is in the Bottom 3?! Whoa. She did so well last night. If she goes home ... ugh.

This rash of women getting taken out has got to stop.

But before we get the last Bottom 3 member, we have a stupid filler segment where the Idols go to TMZ to get pointers about dealing with being famous. It’s not that funny and pretty dumb.

The final trio is James, Haley and Jacob. Based on last night, it should be Jacob, but Haley’s really been taking it on the chin, so who knows? And then it is Jacob.

Well, as long as it’s not Pia who goes home, these are OK results.

Now we have Iggy Pop, shirtless and looking every one of his almost-64 years. And my feed keeps losing sound, which I’m assuming means he’s swearing up a storm. Does anyone remember how he was Johnny Depp’s Uncle Belvedere in “Cry Baby”? Good times, that movie.

And then they send Pia home and this show may be officially dead to me. Are you kidding me with this?! This is disgusting. Not only is the voting demographic ridiculous, but the judges blew their save.

Ugh.