College Football Notes : Winless Wolverines May Be Best Team in Big Ten This Season

“We don’t know how to win any more.”

Those words were uttered by Michigan’s Bo Schembechler, who tops the nation’s active major college coaches with 215 victories. Unfortunately for Schembechler, none of them has come this season and Michigan is 0-2 for the first time since 1959.

But what’s really amazing is that Michigan may be the best team in the Big Ten.

The Wolverines haven’t exactly been blown out, losing to Notre Dame, 19-17, and to No. 1-ranked Miami, 31-30, a game in which Michigan managed to blow a 16-point lead in the final 5 1/2 minutes.

“The difference is teams like Iowa and Michigan haven’t learned to win the close games yet,” is how Iowa coach Hayden Fry explains the Big Ten’s well-documented problems. The league is 7-15, all against outside competition. “Other than that, we’re not bad, but we’re still a long way from being a good team. We are two plays away from being 3-0.”

Those two plays included a late touchdown that was called called back in a 27-24 loss against Hawaii and quarterback Chuck Hartlieb’s fumble at the 5-yard line in Saturday’s 24-21 loss to Colorado. Iowa led, 21-17, at the time.

The situation isn’t hopeless, however.

“Don’t be deceived,” Fry said. “We’re still a good team.”

And Schembechler, while conceding that “we’ve never been in this position before,” promised that Michigan “will make a run for the (Big Ten) championship, I’ll guarantee you that. I expect us to win the Big Ten. I’ll be disappointed if we don’t.”

Michigan and defending champion Michigan State are both 0-2, and MSU coach George Perles said: “We feel as if we let down our sister schools and our part of the country. We have a poor record and there are no excuses.

“We all know the conference is important, but I would wager to say everyone is trying to win the nonconference games. We know we have lost to some teams we were expected to beat.”

Perhaps the toughest talk came from Northwestern’s Francis Peay, of all people, whose team usually is looking up at the other nine.

“In any given year, nonconference games are not indicative of conference strength. Bowl games are,” Peay says. “I know Michigan, Ohio State, Iowa are tough football teams. When it comes to bowl time, you’ll see the Big Ten represented well.”

Maybe Michigan can play Clemson in some bowl. Schembechler called Saturday’s officials “dumb guys,” while Clemson’s Danny Ford, steaming after a 24-21 loss to Florida State, referred to one of the officials as “an idiot from my conference.”

If you think the Big Ten is being embarrassed, how about the Southwest Conference. The SWC hasn’t had a team in the Top Twenty for the last two weeks and Rice is a two-touchdown underdog to Southwestern Louisiana, of all people.

One of the favorite pastimes in college football is poking fun at folks involved in controversy.

Like Alabama coach Bill Curry, who decided not to take his team to Texas A&M; last weekend because of Hurricane Gilbert. Saturday turned out beautiful at College Station, Tex., but A&M;’s Kyle Field was empty instead of packed.

“Their quarterback (David Smith) was hurt and that’s why they didn’t want to play this game,” Texas A&M; coach Jackie Sherrill charged. “Bill didn’t make this decision by himself. (Offensive coordinator) Homer Smith helped him make it.”

Like most former Alabama players, Sherrill couldn’t resist letting Curry know that he is trying to fill the late Bear Bryant’s shoes.

“Coach Bryant would have been here,” Sherrill said.

A stone-faced Curry replied:

“I’m sure it was a simple decision for Jackie Sherrill, who suddenly became an expert on hurricanes. But he wasn’t in my shoes. I was. And I made the decision not to go because, to tell you the truth, it wasn’t a difficult decision to make.”

Curry said his decision was based on reports that it might be dangerous for the Alabama team to try and leave College Station after the game because of the hurricane.

“Two questions that will forever be debated by my critics,” Curry said, “are, did I overreact and bail out too soon, and did I bail out because I didn’t want to play Texas A&M; with my quarterback injured.

“No one knows how badly we wanted to play A&M.; It’s not like we don’t have an able replacement behind David Smith. And all week Jeff Dunn had been hitting everything in practice. We were ready to play.

“I’d rather deal with critics saying what they want to about me than trying to explain to someone’s parent why we went out there, knowing there was this horrible storm and it could turn at any time.”

Regardless of Curry’s reasons, no one can argue with that explanation. But these Curry jokes are already making the rounds:

-- Alabama canceled practice this week because someone left a fan on in Curry’s office and he said it was too windy for his players.

-- The Texas A&M; training table is featuring Chicken Curry this week.

Was there a full moon last weekend?

Another strange happening took place at Corvallis, Ore., where Oregon State nipped California, 17-16, on a field goal with 16 seconds left -- 16 seconds left in the 61st minute, that is.

Apparently, the fourth minute of the fourth quarter was played twice. The play-by-play sheet shows that Cal’s Robbie Keen punted with 10:12 remaining but Oregon State ran the next play at 10:59.

Oregon State officials say the Parker Stadium clock has a history of problems and malfunctioned during a high school game on Friday night. Saturday’s play-by-play sheet also shows that 50 seconds elapsed between two Cal plays.

While conceding that his team did not play very well, Cal coach Bruce Snyder said, “I think the thing with the clock represents very poor game management in allowing that to ever happen. I’m also surprised that they did not catch it, surprised that someone in the box did not catch it -- the timer, the clock operator, the play-by-play person. Someone.”

It wasn’t surprising that Georgia won its 42-35 shootout with Mississippi State. Only twice in its football history have the Bulldogs scored 28 or more points and lost -- 41-28 to Texas in the 1949 Orange Bowl and 31-28 to Clemson in 1986.

Quote of the week from running back Solomon Johnson following Columbia’s 41-7 loss to Harvard, the Lions’ 42nd consecutive setback:

“I’m still confident about the season, about winning the Ivy League.”