Registering for Grad Gifts? Just Who Does This Guy Think He Is--a Bride?
DEAR HOT: My pal Edward, a yuppie straight out of “thirtysomething,” is graduating from law school. He’s throwing a big party and get this--he registered himself at a fancy department store, just like a bride! Now all his friends will know exactly what type of china, bed sheets and wine goblets to buy for him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he listed his shoe size (Italian leather only), too. Me, I feel like surprising him with a pair of flip flops. What should I do?
--UNREGISTERED
MS. KRIER SUGGESTS: Although the practice is not uncommon, singles registering for gifts strikes me as the equivalent of handing over your entire wardrobe selection to a personal shopper. It’s efficient but no fun, unless, say, you could hire Arsenio Hall, David Lee Roth or Prince for the job.
Registering for gifts leaves potential givers little room for error-or imagination. If Edward would truly enjoy the flip flops and they’re all you can afford, go with them. If not, pretend you didn’t hear about his bride-style registry fling. Surprise him with something else you know he’d like. Perhaps a gift certificate for a “skull with screaming flames” arm tattoo from Art to the Bone in Hollywood.
MS. STEIN BEGS TO DIFFER: Beth Ann, does the term “lighten up” mean anything to you? Registering for gifts is hardly a sin, compared to, say, wearing a really bad fake Rolex. Edward is to be admired for his initiative. After all, he’s simply providing a guideline for friends and relatives who may want to commemorate his graduation with a gift.
By registering, Edward is not saying “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” he’s just making it easier for people--especially those out of town--to make their selections should they decide to give him a gift. You are not required to give him anything at all. Many singles are registering these days as they delay marriage or decide not to marry at all. Rules are meant to be broken. And by the way--if you do decide to get Edward the flip-flops, at least wrap them in a nice box.
DEAR HOT: My mom, who’d look right at home in a laxative ad, wants me to settle down, fashion-wise. She’s even offered to buy me clothes if I’ll choose boring classics. Right now, we’re talking fingertip length jackets. She’ll pay for it. I’d like to take her up on the offer, but my idea of a classic is leopard (politically correct fake, of course).
--SHEENA
DEAR SHEENA: Unless you are totally dedicated to your own, slightly dated tastes, get hold of yourself and read our charge cards. Your mother is offering you a free jacket! Take it before she changes her mind! By the way, that longer length is exactly what big name designers are showing right now. Wear it over leggings, or a very short skirt, and perhaps buy yourself a long, leopard-print silk scarf to wear with it. There’s a great, 3/4-length jacket for $150 now at The Limited, where, through an innovative marketing ploy, it will cost $240 later. You never know: In a year or two, you might even love that jacket, toss out the leopard scarf and be scouring the town for the perfect princess pumps to wear with it.
DEAR HOT: I went to a big department store famous for its alleged service. Found a great pair of red, high-heeled sling-backs. I told the salesman my size and he disappeared for a full 15 minutes. He came back without my sling-backs, but carried a dozen ugly red pumps. Imelda Marcos wouldn’t even have these dogs. I’m embarrassed to say I yelled at the poor guy for wasting my precious shopping time. I also let him know I had already carefully considered his time by checking out every shoe in the department before making my selection. How can I avoid more of this ugliness in the future?
--RED FACE, NO SHOES
DEAR RED: Although the salesman was well-meaning in trying to find you a suitable pair of shoes (as well as make a sale), politely and firmly tell future salespersons you are in a hurry and not interested in seeing any other shoes. Tell them before they fetch your request. That way you’re happy, they won’t get yelled at, and the shopping gods will smile again.
