An Evening Fit for a Schwarzenegger

The Scene: Sunday night’s mega-premiere in Westwood of “Last Action Hero,” Arnold Schwarzenegger’s volume-enhanced, blast-’em-up summer release from Columbia. Everything about this event was oversized (besides the film’s star). Two theaters were booked for the screening and streets were blocked off. The party took place in an enormous parking lot, and looming over the crowd was a 40-foot blow-up replica of Schwarzenegger. Add to that a rock band, fireworks and a gaggle of celebs and you have one major Hollywood do.

*

The Buzz: Reactions to the movie ranged from “It was too confusing” to “It was a lot funnier than I thought it would be” to full-on raves. “You pulled it off! It was great!” enthused Kings owner Bruce McNall as he hugged Columbia Pictures chairman Mark Canton.

*

Who Was There: From the film: Schwarzenegger (with wife Maria Shriver), director John McTiernan, co-producer Steve Roth, F. Murray Abraham, Charles Dance, Mercedes Ruehl, Austin O’Brien, Anthony Quinn, Bridgette Wilson and Frank McRae. Not from the film: Rosanna Arquette, Richard Dreyfuss, Bruce Jenner, Howie Mandel, John Singleton, Sony Pictures entertainment chairman Peter Guber, Tori Spelling, Penny Marshall,Christian Slater, and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Also in the audience were about 200 teens from the Hollenbeck Youth Center.

*

Dress Mode: “Casual” was the request, this being a summery Sunday night. Some interpreted that as torn jeans and ratty sneakers, others as short-short dresses with high-high heels.

*

Chow: Anyone who left hungry must have had their jaws wired. Ambrosia’s buffets-of-plenty included rack of lamb, pizzas, shrimp, pastas, steak tacos and wild-mushroom quesadillas. On the ever-popular dessert table were chocolate cakes, fruit tarts, ice cream, rice pudding and cookies. Jenny Craig devotees were in serious trouble.

*

Quoted: What did Ahhh-nold think of this over-the-top premiere? “The whole thing was just spectacular,” he said seconds after witnessing the fireworks display. “It was like the Planet Hollywood opening in London--it reminded me of that. This party’s absolutely outstanding. I mean, it’s really big time. And that’s the way to celebrate.”

*

Putting It All in Perspective: “I think it’s great fun,” said Charles Dance of the hoopla. “I mean, look at this--we’re standing under a sort of 70-foot inflatable Arnold,” said Dance, overestimating the monstrous balloon’s size. “And you think that the cost of this is about the equivalent of the production budget of an average British film.”

*

Party-Favor Rating: B-. In a glossy “Last Action Hero” bag was the soundtrack on CD, a T-shirt, baseball cap and Burger King plastic cup. What, no AK-47 with live ammo? Sheesh.