NONFICTION - Nov. 7, 1993

A PERSONAL JOURNEY THROUGH THE MAZE OF ALZHEIMER’S by Diana Friel McGowin . (Delacorte Press: $17.95; 147 pp.) Imagine a life where day-by-day you can actually feel your intelligence, your very identity slowly thin and crack like springtime ice.

“One minute I was coping fine with my work. The next, I had lost complete recall of whom I was speaking to on the telephone and why. . . . The client began asking if I was still on the line . . . another line was ringing. A short, chubby blonde woman wearing heavy makeup entered my office and collapse heavily into a chair. I had no idea who she was.”

Diana Friel McGowin was only 45 when she first began to experience the symptoms of early (young) Alzheimer’s. “Living in the Labyrinth” is the first book about the disease written by someone who has it. McGowin examines exactly how Alzheimer’s has changed her life, the lives of her family and their relationships. Although the prose is often awkward, there’s something deeply likeable about this woman. McGowin plays Alzheimer’s. She raises a lot of big issues as in this argument she has with her husband:

“Look, Diane. . . . You have lost your mind.”

“I haven’t lost my mind! Don’t say that!” I screamed in defiance. “I have a neurological disability. It is my brain, Jack!”

He smiled smugly . . . “Diane, where is your mind? Hm? Where is it located?”

Cruelty aside, that’s a valid question. Is someone’s mind only in their brain? What makes identity? Is a person with advanced Alzheimer’s no longer “themselves?” Why or why not? Ultimately, this book isn’t about loss. It’s about courage and character.